A Tale of Two Bills
Bill crush confessions
“If you want to live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat”
- Bill Clinton
I was in 8th grade when Clinton was first elected president. Months before I had taken a rebellious stance for the pure sake of rebellion, as one does at 14, declaring myself a new proud “Republican” against the horrors of a long standing liberal household.
I couldn’t vote so I did the next best thing, I made collages to slide into the front of my middle school binder with pictures torn from TIME magazine of Ronald Reagan with Nancy in red sequined ball gowns on his arm, and wore pearls like Barbara Bush, and stayed up on weeknights after homework to watch Crossfire on CNN staring a bespeckled Micheal Kinsley debating a fresh faced Tucker Carlson, in a bow tie. I had no idea who he was but I figured is this is what young sarcastic Republicans look like, count me in.
My mom was a huge Clinton / Gore Fan. I remember going with her across town to pick up yard signs and buttons and bumper stickers to display an alliance to the young handsome governor from Hope Arkansas with the ambitious wife, and the awkwardly enduring daughter my same age, by his side.
I held out in till the very end. I really did. Clutching my pearls, resisting the charm and swagger of a smooth talking Clinton on the campaign trail that had seduced not only my mother, but all the moms I knew. The night of the inauguration ball however proved too much. I could no longer resist a sense of pride blooming inside of me seeing this couple, baby boomers on the brink of a new era, promising fresh beginnings, dancing under a blanket of balloons dropped to Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”
“Open your eyes and look at the day
You'll see things in a different way”
What was not to love?
My affinity was born that night and would last - to varying degrees - throughout my adult life. I remember in my senior year at high school, regretfully having to watch Clinton’s live testimony in front of congress during Ms. Bogg’s US history class. Where he looked directly into the camera and told us he did not have sexual relations with “That Woman.” Ms. Boggs was absolutely disgusted by him and wanted to make sure her whole 5th period class was too. By college he’d become the silver fox symbol for the democratic party. We loved him rooting Al Gore’s lack luster follow up bid for the White House in 2000 that ended with him holed up in Massachusetts growing a castaway beard and battling a long bout of depression before the call for climate rescue revived his broken soul. In 2016, during Hillary’s run, a few of us might have even been secretly more excited about getting Bill back than we were about the prospect of a first woman president. Hillary’s run teased of a nostalgic rewind.
But we all know how disastrously that chapter ended.
As much as I give Clinton(s) a hard time online, by now awake to the gross plies of their limitless power in Washington, masking all the dark controversies they consistently (successfully) manage to shake off (even lazy examination of the Clinton body count, for instance, will send a shiver right through your brain) I do miss the days of that young wholesome democratic pride. The party back then represented something entirely different. Something positive, something promising that stood in favor of extreme tolerance, free speech and gay rights, while supporting the economic framework to aid everyday working class people. With campaigns built around strategic plans and actual ideas aimed at real progress, instead of simply being an alternative to “the other party”
Progressivism today I no longer recognize. So much that the Clinton era Democrats of yesterday would easily land under right wing claims today, based on several cornerstone principles that have been since deemed “outdated” by the left. Devout liberals today are quick to accuse anything “traditional” as a threat to their thinly carved notion of “progress.” Where things aren’t necessarily “better” just different. Always changing. In that whatever existed before must be confronted, updated, overturned, or dismantled. So instead of focusing on the grim, imminent issues plaguing our generation - the ones our children will soon inherit: increasing homelessness, crime spikes, fentanyl crisis, opioid addictions, inflation, teen suicide and depression - the list goes on and on - we find the heaviest trending headlines dedicated to say, righting the wrongs of girl / boy toy isles solved by instilling gender neutral toy sections where kids can choose a genderless potato head instead of a pink barbie corvette.
On the same week that the vaccine mandates declared anyone over the age of 5 needed to show proof of vaccination to enter restaurants in San Francisco, I read about support for “safe injection sites” (heroine dens) constructed in this same city. Meaning an addict can walk in and comfortably inject themselves with poison, but a kindergartner needs to prove they are healthy enough to eat a burger.
My point being, the party and it’s changing values left me, I didn’t leave the party. And for a lot of us swimming in the middle of an aimless sea, it can be rough waters to wade.
Which brings us to the point of the other Bill. Who’s commentary, above any other voice in current politics, has helped keep my sanity in tact. I’ve always been a Bill Maher fan - I haven’t always entirely agreed with him, but isn’t that the case with everyone we know? Since when did it have to be an all or nothing alignment?
All I know is he helps convince me that I’m not in fact losing my mind. I appreciate his humor, and his unbiased inclination to call out bullshit wherever he sees it. Which happens to be more frequently on the left these days. A fact some of his core audience is having a problem with.
I’m not one of ‘em.
In loosely related Juicy Footnotes: My saxophone persuasion highlighting Clinton’s undebatable 90’s sex appeal failed to seduce IG yesterday. The polling numbers showed mass resistance even in the sexy reveal of him in raybans playing a rendition of heartbreak hotel on late night TV.
Though I can confirm, based on very reliable source, Bill Clinton was a “lot of fun” back in the day. That he liked tequila shots and was definitely having an affair with Ghislaine Maxwell on those island visits. A well known fact the “inner circle” of that age was well aware of.
Now it’s probably time to dig into the Liz Hurley hinted fling…?
Below, for good measure, a snap of my first official Newsletter feedback. In form of a cancellation / returned fund request (granted).
One I suppose I’m obliged to frame and hang on the office walls I don’t have.
Later this week I’ll be sharing an in depth personal piece about my ongoing struggles with online bullying and harassment over the course of a year and a half that’s led to my Instagram account hanging by a thread. With threat of one more flagging pulling my account permanently.
Naming names and talking details.
See you then xx
I love your style, your honesty and your passion. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea… to do that you would have to be water! Keep doing what you’re doing and let the haters hate. Society scares me these days. People are sheep and need the security of everyone thinking the same way they do. What a boring fucking world that would be!!!
I love your writing. You put what I'm thinking into words and it not only eloquently describes complicated topics, you are way more interesting and helpful than the news! You give me the courage to speak up in conversations where I think I'm the outlier. Because after reading your writing, I now know I'm not alone in my opinion. Thank you!