End of Month Musings

January mash up: complements, complaints, pop culture & societal critiques

Turns out most all of us appreciate attractive people even when we can’t necessarily stand them. At least this is what I’ve gathered from my latest IG story polls.

Earlier this week, when the topic of attractiveness in “bad people” was raised - specifically after sharing my opinions on the Maxwell brother’s wily allure (those proper British accents paired with that steely eyed spy mystique) I argued that good looks are one of the main reasons people like them get away with such lurid and extravagant crimes. If you watch any of the old interviews with Robert Maxwell for instance (when he himself was young dark and handsome) you can see exactly why everyone trusted the man, all twinkling eyes and brooding sharp wit. Like a dark sordid Santa Claus in a red bow tie there to give you exactly what you need (insert image of cigar pointed at you) whether you need, it, or, not.

In one interview where a top ranking business man, who’s enterprise was burned by its involvement with Maxwell, was asked why he never second guessed or looked into any of the inner details of Maxwell’s financial books, he answered “I don’t know. Nobody ever really questioned anything Bob did. He just seemed to always be doing everything right.”

In other words, he trusted those eyes.

When I invited IG to this debate - the notion of bad (or insufferable) people we find attractive, I opened up a poll to collect all the names of all the celebrities you find loathsome, but still like to look at.

And since we’re here, I’ll go first: Alec Baldwin. The walking definition of “insufferable.” A raging narcissist with a hot temper and a blazing ego to match. Blessed with a husky voice, pretty eyes and an undeniably burly charm. I hate him. I really do. In fact, I don’t think I liked him since he wore that cute black & white plaid flannel way back in his Beetlejuice days but also, maybe I’m just bitter over our little IG spat in 2019 where (after too much wine) I accidentally invited an online fight by calling him out on his wife’s “diciendo mentiras” (lies) because he was yelling at all of us for questioning her, after she’d been caught pretending to be an exotic Spanish transplant, struggling, like she couldn’t quite remember how to pronounce “cucumber”(in American) on live TV.

I know you remember.

Anyway, he wrote some mean things that I answered back with meaner things and now I’m blocked. He’s wading around in deeper controversy. And his wife is still a serial liar birthing babies like a pez dispenser in attempt to distract us from all of it.

But I digress…

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Baldwin Testosterone, vintage edition

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Here’s Who Topped Your Lists:

• George Clooney

• Tom Cruise

• Jude Law

• Night Stalker / Richard Ramirez

• Armie Hammer

• Jared Leto

• Tom Hanks

• Tom Brady

• The Kardashians

• Kim K

• Beyonce

• Taylor Swift

• Jennier Aniston

• Megan Markle

• Angelina Jolie

• Chrissy Teigen

- Honorable mentions:

George W, Megan Fox, Osama Bid Laden, Ellen DeGeneres

Feel free to discuss these faces in comment section below

As far as January round up goes:

The month started with the mystical Owl visits - let’s go ahead and call them “premonitions”

And while I was probably just suppressing the early tides of a typical new year depression - talking to this winged prophet that showed up three days in a row while I was folding clothes out back - it did feel significant. Judging from my brief dive into ancient folklore, depending on which native tribe you choose to believe, these visits either wanted to inform me of impending death on my doorstep (metaphorical, I hope) or new wisdom in my heart.

I’m sure you can guess which one I ran with.

My new examination of nature’s greater meaning didn’t end there though. When I uncovered evidence of Ghislaine Maxwell’s extremely off brand snake / rose vine tattoo on her lower back, my investigative efforts concluded that the pairing of this image symbolized power invading “innocence.” Which honestly felt a little too obvious for a bright woman like herself. But also begs the question: Did Ghislaine maybe have a drunken night in Oxford and make one terrible (permanent) decision she would forever be forced to live with forever?

Or is she just a snake invading innocence? And perhaps way more basic than we guessed.

And did she own a Harley?

Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox got engaged, in a scene straight out of a footlocker ad that looked like it was filmed for bad reality TV. Ten years ago. I’m not sure what else to say about it unless we want to start taking Vegas bets on the length of this union too. Which for the record I’m giving two years.

Mid way though the month a Tsunami warning woke us on a Sunday morning. Then never arrived, so I got bored and decided to strip my closet so slim that when I say now “I don’t have anything to wear tonight” I actually mean it.

I am literally starting at 4 wool sweaters and a Christy Dawn dress.

Ok and successfully tracked down the lounge chairs from the movie ‘The Lost Daughter’ (the scenery TBH being the only real reason to watch) that are naturally manufactured in Greece, because they do everything better. Even outdoor furniture.

Fast forward to the Britney Vs. Jamie Lynn feud. The two of them duking it out on social media with southern insults so sassy I didn’t fully understand any of them until I came across a girl on tik Tok who reads all their posts in an authentic southern accent and suddenly they ALL make sense. Either way, I really wish someone (other than Dr. Phil) would come help this family out. Poor Britney, in spite of her newfound freedom, is still spinning circles in a bikini in her living room in LA. And Jamie Lynn is … still Jamie Lynn.

After finally recovering from the Spears sister drama, the Kanye vs. Kim feud reeled us right back in. Kanye, claiming he wasn’t given the address to Chicago’s 4th birthday party celebration. An injustice he says was remedied by Travis Scott, who apparently was the only one in that family who responded to his text, telling him where the birthday party would be. *this I consider some of Kris Jenner’s best work. Post Astroworld, pre Kylie’s birth announcement = Travis Scott saves the day?

As side note to all of this: Julia Fox has gladly accepted the role of Ye’s new muse. Meaning she is wearing very uncomfortable couture outfits and posing like a rare steak on the table for Kanye to carve during impromptu photoshoots directed by Ye.

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In monumental losses, we bid farewell to three: Bob Saget, Andre Leon Tally, and Thierry Mugler. Gradually I swear the whole 90’s era is dissolving right before us.

God bless Anna Wintour’s stamina.

The image of the Olsen Twins (Michelle Tanner) arm and arm at Bob Saget’s funeral though I have to admit sent my mid grade depression into a full tailspin. On a Friday night it broke me down in tears.

All I could think is … we are so old.

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Also Neil Young declared war with Spotify yesterday over their support of Joe Rogan (and lost) and Chelsea Clinton is mad that rouge scientists are making over 2 million dollars a year here on Substack for “spreading lies.” As if “lies and deceit” aren’t part of her (very profitable) DNA?

Chelsea, please.

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In personal news:

Arlo broke yet another bone (his ankle)

Hayes ordered his 600th lego set from my amazon account because he’s so cute I can’t ever say no (no matter how mad the overflow lego situation in our house makes Mike)

Rex told a new family he met at the beach that his mom “writes about famous people in jail” for a living.

And Leon is still cursing being born into a family that can never arrive on time to anything “ever!” After being late to school today. Because no one in this family could find matching socks.

So here’s to clinging to all those new year goals, making better choices to become better people, and laughing a lot at each other in between it all. To owls and pretty villains.

Xx

J

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Consider

Epstein’s Zorro Ranch on the market

Perversion of Justice // on audio if you like to listen during laundry like me - a detailed account of journalist Julie K. Brown’s relentless pursuit to expose Epstein’s crimes that had been protected by varying arms of power for over a decade .

Restless Pursuit // Brad Edwards account, from a legal perspective, what he went up against battling Epstein in his quest for justice on behalf of the victims.

Epstein’s Shadow: Ghislaine Maxwell my favorite documentary so far

VH1’s cringe-worthy ‘Fabulous’ Jeffrey Epstein show resurfaces

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January Discounts:

Avocado Organic Mattresses - CODE: HOUSEINHABIT for $150 off

Christy Dawn Dresses - CODE 15JESSICARK for %15 off