Jonah Hill Follow-Up

THE NEVER-ENDING BIKINI REVENGE TOUR

Am I interrupting a blissful poolside slumber on my last day atop a muggy rooftop in Manhattan to further drive home a point that allows me to also sharply criticize Raven Smith? Maybe. But, I promise to keep it brief and move on. We have UFO tales later this week to unfold and I only have so much venom left in me to snark about a mid grade romance unraveled in ragged Instagram story form, anyway.

Since my last post a week ago, encouraged by a whirlwind of support from spurned women worldwide, Sarah Brady has become a viral sensation who has succeeded at her goal: dragging the entire world into her relationship drama, that to be quite honest was never that interesting to begin with. If people want juicy relationship drama, I have friends with way more salacious breakup stories (don’t we all?)- friends who date raging alcoholics, spiraling addicts and jealous Staten Island boyfriends that accuse their girlfriends of banging the baker when they’re simply just buying a donut.

Admittedly, I’m still baffled by what in this text war was so gripping. Are people really that bored that they find Jonah Hill and Sarah Brady’s new age therapy gripes worthy of such obsessive armchair analysis, or does society just instinctively cling now to any fresh version of a victimized woman wanting to dismantle a beloved Hollywood star?

The scenario certainly fits a new narrative — the push to eclipse the plight of the patriarchy by reducing any questionable actions of famous men to a one size fits all consequence that usually points to a canceled, or at least heavily crippled, career. Johnny Depp, if you recall, testified under oath about his finger being cut off by a violent ex and a year later, a grip of loud and delusional “feminists” on Twitter are still barking about the injustice of that verdict. The mainstream media is still largely on their side twisting the truths about something we all witnessed (in real time) together.

In the wake of #MeToo, Sarah Brady is an easy hero. Women coming forward as victims of abuse are encouraged and applauded without much question. Bashing men has replaced any evolved discussions regarding topics of consent, sex, power, and assault, to the point that any man at fault gets lumped together by this misinformed mob mentality where Jonah Hill becomes Danny Masterson, Danny Masterson becomes Harvey Weinstein, and Harvey Weinstein becomes Jeffery Epstein. This perpetual melding of sin & scandal, where every mishap and mistake gets filed under the same harsh judgment, operates under the notion that women can only exist as blameless victims in these situations. This is obviously, not a trend I subscribe to — in fact I write actively in open rejection of it, but it can be lonely battle in the face of such a depressing downfall where varied perspective is treated as a working threat. Stand up for genderless bias, promote radical common sense, and you’ll get consistently called a “woman hater” for it. It’s no wonder outspoken critics remain minimal in my corner.

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“IN WILDEST SALVO YET, JONAH HILL’S SPURNED EX SARAH BRADY LAUNCHED 52-PRONGED INSTAGRAM ATTACK ON HOLLYWOOD STAR INCLUDING COMPARISONS TO ARTHUR MILLER AND MARILYN MONROE’S DOOMED MARRIAGE”

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Rewind:

Four months ago, Jonah Hill was credited for curing Kanye West’s antisemitism. Now, he’s on the brink of cancellation for “weaponizing therapy talk” with an ex girlfriend on a bikini revenge tour that refuses to finish. Sarah, a newly crowned “survivor,” eight days later is still “reclaiming” herself by posting bathing suit victory shots and using the hashtag #freesarah.

How is this not a slap in the face to actual victims of abuse? Women like Amber Heard and Sarah Brady make a mockery of their experiences and we are all expected to stand by them and let them continue.

The story honestly lost me at, “Brah, I'm taking a canoe out with the girls in Waikiki,” but the internet remained abuzz for a week straight serving hot takes and arguing with each other over the whole situation. Even I caved and started fighting with the dimwits on TikTok who used my fury to fuel their viewership because their own painfully predictable rants couldn’t do it alone. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s misinformed and entitled young content creators dropping into my DMs to insult me directly. What’s more concerning than their restricted debate skills, however, is that a large portion of this generation seems to completely lack a decent sense of humor. If things are not spelled out for them in meme form, they are confused or offended. They take everything at face value, so any injection of sarcasm or nuance is entirely lost on them. Irreverence does not compute. This is why my quarrels with such personalities are fruitless. On a good day, I ignore them, on a bad day, I drag them into the light for a public flogging because I’m too old to be bullied and far too tired of hapless sacks insulting me in my own cyber living room. On rare occasions when I decide to engage, the virtual door slamming comes well earned.

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Me: “Gods of Hollywood scandal, please leak texts between Brad and Angie fighting over the rose chateau and their sex life.”

Universe: “Best I can do is Jonah Hill, boundaries, and a supressed bikini model.”

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Thankfully, plenty of us do see what is obvious here. Sarah Brady is a bitter ex using Instagram as an outlet to seek revenge and align with “survivors” because she knows victimhood is a currency that society readily celebrates these days. Her actions are sure to inspire countless other young women who see humiliation as retaliation as a respectable way to respond to an ugly breakup.

She admitted in more recent audio memos that another reason she exposed her ex was because she was sick of people coming up to her in public talking about how “cool it must be to date Jonah Hill.” Simply telling them to their faces, “he’s an asshole” (like most of do when our toxic ex’s are uncomfortably brought up) wasn’t enough. She had to make sure the whole world knew it, and in turn, has been uplifted and applauded for it. But not here. I refuse to give this story the validity she craves.

In another screenshot, Sarah texts Jonah, “good luck to ya in your speed search for a wifey.” The fact that he did find someone else clearly bothered her.

Between the new girlfriend, the pregnancy and his documentary’s recent success, Sarah’s been dead set on ruining him for the past year, a fact she hardly cares to even hide at this point.

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What’s funny is, when the story first broke I thought I had the inside scoop — exclusive texts from last summer that revealed a vengeful and unhinged mind frame, but then Sarah went and exposed all of that herself in a barrage of texts that revealed Jonah was also financially supporting her, paying for her therapy, apologizing incessantly (almost annoyingly) — and ultimately trying to secure an amicable end to their year long romance.

Texts from Jonah to Sarah revealing he was supporting her financially and even offered to pay for her therapy post breakup.

In these texts, we see Jonah taking accountability several times and apologizing very profusely before finally asking Sarah to please stop texting him after she refused to see his point of view. Jonah seemed intent on calming her down throughout their last bit of communication. He said multiple time he thought it was possible that they could be friends or at least remain on friendly terms. “We spoke about being friends very very clearly and established very clear boundaries that we’re friends and not romantic and I thought that was that and was very clear.”

Jonah apologized several times for thinking they could be friends after their split.

On August 31, 2022, Jonah decided to be fully transparent with Sarah and opened up to her that he started dating someone new.

Sarah seemed shocked by the news that Jonah had met someone new and resorted to the “chicks before dicks code,” telling Jonah he better let his new girlfriend know he had been sexting her 7 weeks prior, which is honestly a lifetime in single land.

Sarah continued to go off on Jonah after hearing this news. In one screenshot posted of course by Sarah, Jonah told Sarah he felt violated by the way she reacted- screenshotting and sharing his messages publicly. Imagine now, the roles revered.

All of the supportive videos and articles I came across conveniently left out major details. Each story neglected to include any mention of Sarah’s mental illness, an outburst that obviously resembles a manic episode, or her self-confessed motives behind these continued leaks. Instead, they solely focused on the suppressed bikini restrictions, completely ignoring how Sarah set out to ruin the first weeks of another woman’s newborn joy, a cruel and ruthless move in its own right.

Nobody is saying Jonah is a winner in this scenario. He’s clearly insecure and shouldn’t have slid in her DMs knowing she was a surfer who wore bikinis and asked to change her behavior later, BUT, when she rejected his boundaries, he respectfully said, “I’m maybe not the right partner for you.” How many people enter relationships thinking they can change their partner only to fail in the end? He didn’t seem overly aggressive in the texts. He repeatedly told Sarah it was HER choice and that he respected her regardless of whether she shared the same ideals as him. If a woman in this same position laid out similar expectations for her partner (not liking hot girl posts or hanging out with questionable women, for example), she would be applauded for voicing concise boundaries.

The hypocrisy here is staggering.

If Sarah was smart, she would have stopped with the boundaries list unveiled initially (she was gaining a lot of sympathy there), and maybe excluded the part where she openly admits to a calculated plan to ruin his new relationship weeks after his baby arrived. Sarah posted a screen recording on her Instagram story where she explains why she waited to post the text messages, saying she wanted to wait until AFTER Jonah Hill’s wife welcomed her new baby into the world so she didn’t interfere with her pregnancy. Clearly she’s never heard of postpartum.

Re: Reasons For Sharing After The Baby Was Born

Additional Takes:

• Jonah Hill isn’t as confident and funny in text messages as people expected him to be based on his Hollywood track record. Have people forgotten that he’s an actor? Why are we as as culture always so surprised to find out that ACTORS are really good at ACTING?

• Isn’t there something to be said that Jonah IS going to therapy? Many men won’t even consider therapy an option. So why are we instantly ready to cancel someone who admits they’re flawed and is working towards getting better? We want men to want to be better but when they try and get it wrong, we’ll cancel them just as quick, or say they’re “weaponizing therapy speech.” Jonah seemed to be doing his best.

• Jonah accuses Sarah of gaslighting him. Sarah accuses him of gaslighting her. There’s always two sides to every story and then the truth. But I’m ready to retire the term altogether because of the gross overuse these past three years where everyone is constantly accusing everyone of gaslighting everyone. Can we not expand our vocabulary of these tired terms and accusations?

• Sarah won’t stop posting. She is now saying that anyone leaving negative comments is “repeating the same cycle of abuse as Jonah,” and finds praise in that.

• As if a career cancellation wasn’t enough, Sarah has extended her canceling efforts to include optimal surf breaks, hoping to have him cancelled from the lineup in Malibu, San Onofre and Hawaii. In several screenshots shared, she includes promises from supporters vowing to cut him off or forbid his entrance to the ocean. She also mocks his “new” interest in surfing, claiming he was given special treatment as a “kooky celebrity on the scene” because of her.

  Re: Celebrity “Special” Treatment / “Brudda, Get Out of My Surf Community”

• Sarah is also now backpedalling on Instagram stories, saying she never called Jonah a monster and the media is the one twisting her words. More recently she started saying that perhaps Hill’s “manipulation” was “subconscious.”

This is also what a guy gets for dating a 25-year-old model. They want a young model until the young model starts acting like a young model. Lesson learned. How about both parties shut up and move on.

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New Claims

What we can be sure of with any breaking Hollywood sex scandal is one allegation always leads to another.

Former Zoey 101 star Alexa Nikolas is now accusing Jonah Hill of “forcibly kissing her” when she was 16 years old and he was 24, an allegation Hill denies. The claim came days after Sarah went public with her accusations. Nikolas wrote in her first tweet on July 8th, “After reading Sarah Brady’s admirable post about #JonahHill I just gotta say when I was 16 I got invited to a house party at #justinlongs house. Jonah slammed me to the door and shoved his tongue down my throat. I was so appalled I pushed him off of me and ran inside.”

Are we saying now that an unpleasant party encounter with an older guy also makes one a “survivor?” If so, I fear we have a LOT of ugly and unjust teenage tales ahead of us.

In response to an inquiry by Deadline, Marty Singer, a litigation attorney for Hill, called Nikolas’ accusations “a complete fabrication” adding that “it never happened.” Singer called Nikolas a “demonstrably unreliable” source and “a serial accuser who has made assorted accusations against multiple men in the entertainment industry.”

Alexa responded in a Twitter thread, “I’ve been traumatized by men in Hollywood. It’s truly sad the traumatic events I have lodged in my body and mind. Things have to change.”

Alexa is also the founder of a movement she calls “Eat the Predator,” highlighted by Los Angeles Magazine back in 2022.

“Wearing a cream-colored sundress that falls just above the knees, she has the perfect attire for a summer garden party. But this is no such thing. Instead, Nikolas and the young crew she has assembled are in the streets of L.A., demonstrating outside the offices of Freedman and Taitelman, LLP as part of a grassroots movement that she launched over the summer. 

Nikolas is leading the burgeoning movement that she’s named Eat Predators. Its logo features a pair of full, red lips chomping on the hand of a white man; for Nikolas, this is precisely the demographic of the alleged and accused predators she says have infested the entertainment industry.”

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Leave it to Raven Smith to offer the most terrible take on just about everything in current culture.

Remember when Raven Smith told us it was “time we start believing Amber Heard?” Then months later he ridiculed anyone making a fuss over “bondage adjacent teddy bears” as “outraged parents,” justifying the centerpiece of those disgusting Balenciaga ads. Instead of condemning the ad that even Balenciaga apologized profusely for, he more or less dismissed it as a fashion campaign “too edgy for conservatives to appreciate.”

Smith’s steady presence in the outlet represents just how far Vogue has strayed from its origins, existing now as a severely predictable, deflated version of its former self. Edgy journalism has been replaced by sanitized liberal mouthpieces who consistently turn out soulless articles that seek to shrink cultural advances. Narratives are framed by woke warriors with nothing new or compelling to offer, building stories on ideas meant to appease instead of challenge popular perspectives.

Reading Smith’s snide outlooks, which often blatantly skew and neglect vital facts, makes it hard to believe that there was ever a time the magazine housed fearless young writers who prided themselves on fringe theories and provocative prose. What I’m picturing- Joan Didion in a headscarf anchored by wicked instinct on the frontlines of whatever topic she was sent to attack, emerging with a sharp and brutally honest framing of modern culture as she saw it. Her harsh tones would never last a week in today’s overly cushy sensitivities. But some of us still crave that grip.

Readers Reasons for Signing A Petition To Have Smith Removed From Vogue on Change.Org

“Not gonna blindly believe based on gender only on facts and evidence.”

“He is manipulative and he trys to “read” racism even when it is not . Very vulgar and to full of hate.”

“Sense Vogue magazine would allow Such Discussing rhetoric on the platform with the story published on May 17th on Why it’s Time to believe Amber heard By Raven Smith I think it’s Time we all Do the Right thing and go after the person that wrote the damn thing! It’s Time for Vogue magazine to Fire Raven Smith from their platform For spreading Such discussing rhetoric about this whole Case… it’s very insulting and disrespectful to actual victims of domestic violence! Please do the right thing sign and share the petition! #JusticeforJohnnyDepp #FireRavenSmithFromVogue”

“It is unthinkable to believe all women when we know that both women and men lie. Amber has proven to be a liar and this article ignores evidence of Amber admitting to physically hitting Johnny, yet we are to believe her blindly because she is a woman! No thank you.”

“Disgraceful article. The public are very capable of seeing through the political and social bias narratives the media and vogue put out. How about we hear both sides and believe ALL the evidence not a collective gender! I’m a woman and found this article distasteful and ridiculous. It’s as infuriating as all women should be supporting AH. No, how about we support real victims.”

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As For The Young Slums

NBC’s Kat Tenbarge never misses a new opportunity to behave like a second grader with a hall badge, warning the public to stop following me, deeming my perspective a “dangerous” act. It’s the same tactic she’s been using since the early days of the Depp trial. She cannot understand why anything I publish gains traction so she succumbs to the only thing she knows how to do — calling me “scary” and drudging up my stance on Covid. Yes, Kat, you’re right. I was against vax mandates which has nothing to do with Jonah Hill or any of this, and didn’t scare anyone but you.

Tik Toker Tefi took a slightly bolder move, confronting me directly by slipping into my DMs to tell me that my spirit is “ugly.” She then posted my responses to her Instagram stories publicly as I assumed she would, while also warning her followers that I’m a “sicko” — using Ghislaine Maxwell as the kicker. Briefly, I entertained this debate, but when I realized just how ill informed she was I gave up and urged her to “grow the fuck up” and scroll past whatever “makes her sick.” In this case, it was my jokes about Maxwell and my coverage of Astroworld. God forbid Tefi feels “sick” over opinions that stretch outside of cozy TikTok algorithms.

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So there we have it. Rant over. Pool hour resumed. Alien abductions on the way. See you back here in a couple days with new topics and rested outlooks revived.

Gen Z, consider this a warning.