JonBenét: An American Obsession, Pt. 2 A Dive into the Ramsey Family Dynamics
What lurked behind the illusion of a picture perfect family
The following series is based on old articles and communication to sources close to the case. The yellow highlighted quotes included below are excerpts I pulled from a brilliant Vanity Fair article written by Ann Louise Bardach in 1997 - to help summarize the story with vivid insight & highlight vital evidence. At the end of the series, a recorded conversation will be included to address the details discussed. I do not take any credit for the findings here: only a recap reframed leading up to this interview.
Friends of Patsy recall she had a tough time adapting to Boulder when the family first moved to Colorado in 1991. Reared in the South, her outlook often conflicted with the lax leanings of a liberal college town, but Patsy Ramsey was one to adapt. She joined a popular church, even though it was not their religion, and quickly picked up a reputation as a warm and receptive homemaker with a penchant for hosting lavish parties at their 15-room home in the Chautauqua neighborhood. As outsiders, the Ramseys were respected because of their wealth and influence in the community. Together, they made friends in prominent positions and worked hard at upholding the image of a perfect family with a dedicated investment in local politics. John thrived in corporate endeavors, while Patsy balanced their personal life by infusing it with pomp and festivity, embracing any excuse for added theatrics. During a holiday home tour, she laid out the gown she had worn for the Miss America pageant - a sparkling relic as proof of her past achievements as a celebrated beauty queen turned small-town trophy wife.
Beauty pageants were a long-standing passion in the Paugh family. The oldest of three girls, Patsy was a bright student with big ambitions and the kind of beauty her mother saw fit for competition. She won a teen pageant in high school and Miss West Virginia in college, then went on to compete in the Miss America title in Atlantic City. As one of the eight non-finalists, she won a $2,000 scholarship she put towards finishing her degree. The loss deeply upset her mother, Nedra Paugh, a brute and controlling woman with high expectations who prided herself on the titles that her lively granddaughter, JonBenet, would snag with ease decades later.
“She was thrilled to have the house listed on the Boulder Christmas tour, as well as on the home tour. Visitors recall her greeting them at the door with JonBenet and Burke by her side, all of them in matching sweaters. Featured in JonBenet’s room were her trophies, sashes, and medals. One visitor said that in the huge master-bedroom suite Patsy’s Miss West Virginia dress and her Miss America competition sash were laid out on the bed.”
“Nedra was driven and relentless, determined to see that her daughters enjoyed more of the good things in life than she had. Nedra’s vehicle for launching them into prosperity was beauty pageants. In order to be friends with Patsy, you have to accept her family, because they are such a big part of her life, especially her mother. Sometimes Nedra was obnoxious and said things that were so out of line and shocking, but the woman is unbelievable in her loyalty toward her daughters.”
In addition to her more studious interests, Patsy had a flair for drama. Her featured talent - displayed in one of the competitions - was her knack for “dramatic readings.” The young debate club enthusiast settled on studying journalism after graduation. Shortly after, she met a wealthy divorcee - 14 years her senior - in Atlanta who, according to friends, was taken by her from the start. John Ramsey, they say, courted her intensely.
The two married on November 5th, 1980, when Patsy was 23 years old. They welcomed their first son, Burke, seven years later followed by JonBenet — named after her father, John Bennet — in 1990. By then, John was a big deal in the electronics industry. A year before JonBenet was born, he formed the Advanced Product Group — one of three companies that merged to become Access Graphics. He became president and chief executive officer of Access Graphics, a computer services company and a subsidiary of Lockheed Martin. Selling the business to Lockheed Martin made him a multi-millionaire, though he continued working after the sale. By the mid nineties, his net worth was estimated around $6 million, and he made sure they had all the fancy perks to prove it: corporate planes, and a 34ft sailboat named ‘Miss America.’
In 1979, Ramsey caught a glimpse of a beautiful, 22-year-old brunette in Atlanta and pursued her. Two years earlier, while a journalism major at West Virginia University, Patricia Ann Paugh had been crowned Miss West Virginia and had won a talent award for a dramatic reading at the Miss America Pageant. Marino, who often double-dated with Patsy and Ramsey, said his friend was deeply smitten with her. “She was his Jackie Kennedy.”
Judith Phillips was a close friend of Patsy's during this period. They had children the same age who got along, and she was often the one Patsy called on to shoot their family photos. In interviews, Judith describes Patsy as a woman with many friends and a lot of fun to be around. The two played softball on a team ironically called “Moms gone bad.”
“Patsy and Judith Phillips, raising children roughly the same age, were drawn to each other, although there were differences. “Patsy was very pro-life,” says Phillips. “I was a feminist.” Patsy was involved in Atlanta’s Junior League and a ladies-who-lunch charity called SocieTea. And up until the birth of her son, Burke, she worked. Phillips says Patsy had very expensive taste. “She had 18th-century artwork and exquisite antiques, and John has very expensive and classic taste when it comes to his clothes. He liked his toys. He has a boat [named Miss America] and a plane.”
Burke, she says was “the apple of her eye” until JonBenet came along and all of her focus shifted to her. The pageant system was consuming on the whole family and required intense discipline for a six-year-old. The coaching, music, and dance lessons dictated their schedule and like many hobbies the Ramseys enjoyed, “It wasn’t cheap.” But it thrilled Patsy. According to friends, she lived for it.
As far as family dynamics were concerned, Judith recalls a sibling bond edged by jealousy. JonBenet - like any younger sister - was prone to taunting her older brother. She knew how to push his buttons and he was quick to react in anger.
An introvert by nature, Burke had a history of tantrums and violent outbursts that other kids witnessed on occasion. Once, while photographing the family, Judith asked Patsy about the scar on JonBenet's face. Patsy told her it happened during a fight between the kids. Burke clocked JonBenet in the face with a golf club that did enough damage for her to seek treatment from a plastic surgeon.