Orange is the New Blackmail

Inside source shares details on a fruitless attempt by violent Cubans to extort Ghislaine Maxwell for running a secret vegan side hustle #prisonnotes

Hello, and happy Thursday.

Please enjoy a brief break from gruesome murder updates to indulge in a small dose of theatrical prison drama, staring Ghislaine Maxwell and the Angry Cubans.

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First of all, this script better be coming to HBO at some point.

Second. This is why she’s my favorite subject. The woman refuses to fold. Even behind bars, even under trying dietary restrictions with unhealthy commissary temptations at her whim, SHE WILL HAVE HER FRUIT. 

According to the Daily Mail, Ghislaine Maxwell (dedicated jailhouse vegan) fears for her life and is now demanding a transfer out of the federal correctional facility she’s currently housed in because vengeful Cubans are after her. 

The feud started when the Cubans discovered that Maxwell had worked out an arrangement with a kitchen worker who started stealing extra produce for her in exchange for commissary junk food. A banana side hustle, if you will. Ghislaine, trading fritos for fruit. Illegal transactions being her love language, after all.

Now she claims she is living in “constant fear” of a “brutal beatdown” after ratting out two "violent" Cuban inmates who tried to extort her over it. When they found out what was going on with the inside kitchen arrangement they wrote her a letter demanding she spend her entire commissary allowance ($360 limit) on them, or they would expose her secret vegan enterprise and all of the extra bounties she’s been hoarding. 

Rookies. 

Did no one tell them Ghislaine wrote the books on blackmail?

Maxwell took the note straight to the head lieutenant as proof of extortion, and the pair was thrown in solitary confinement for 47 days.

But now she's 'freaking out' because the two women have just been released back into the general prison population and say they are out for revenge.

Under threat, Ghislaine is being escorted to and from her prison library job by a guard, while the Cubans – described as 'tattooed, tall and thick' - have been moved to a different unit.

According to insiders they are not ones to let things go. 

“Las Cubanas’ have a reputation for being vicious in jail. They don't let anything slide. They are saying Maxwell needs to pay for the 47.” The source told the Daily Mail.

“Snitches get stitches. They will beat her up the first chance they get.”

Maxwell is apparently so scared of retribution, she's refusing showers, as the stalls are a frequent setting for violent ambushes using razor blades or socks packed with bars of soap.

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“A lot of woman stick together based on race, but not really.. My little circle of friends is pretty mixed. Mexican girls, Puerta Rican, 1 White girl, and 2 Black girls. We do everything together usually, like wash clothes and eat together, etc.”

- Prison Source

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The produce crimes are not the only thing the Cubans didn’t like about Maxwell. They criticized her for being “aloof and snobbish,” too.

However, this conflicts with what my prison source, who drops by weekly to fill me in on the latest Tallahassee prison happenings, has to report. (I can’t tell you how much I enjoy these updates. Like little chapters from the best-unwritten jailhouse series) 

My source, who knew nothing about Ghislaine when she arrived and before connecting with me, says she is well-liked and friendly. 

Originally, referred to among the other inmates as “Epstein’s wife,” she is now addressed as “Ms. Maxwell.” 

I’m told she “mostly” keeps to herself, but is a great teacher (all of her classes have waitlists) and helpful in the library where she works daily recommending books and assisting inmates in their legal struggles while preparing for her own appeal. 

I’ve been collecting notes on prison updates for three months now, planning to share in full soon, but this latest blackmail plot called for an impromptu excerpt because stealing bananas at the chow hall - referred to by my source as "her regular breakfast crimes" - has been a constant topic in all of the letters & emails I receive. She describes a daily routine where Maxwell lingers around the hall waiting for the perfect opportunity to smuggle whatever fruit is offered that day to take back to her cell where food is forbidden.

Now it all makes sense. She is stalking, chasing, stealing nutrition.

She mentioned too that Maxwell had stopped showing up for sports on the field (we know all about her softball skills) and showering.

Sunday morning, my source wrote to inform me that word around the hall was she had written a 21 page letter to some press outlet that prompted visitors to start showing up to check in on and interview inmates. I’m assuming the Daily Mail is where her letter landed.

Leave it to Ghislaine to climb the ranks, snag the best jobs in the clink, and then set up a side hustle that breaks rules to feed her better interests. In this case: a well-stocked vegan diet. In previous life: teenage girls for gifted yachts and luxury townhouses.

As I alway say, she is many things. Indolent isn't one of them.

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“My friend said Ms. Maxwell is helpful to her new bunkie. X broke her arm pushing the food cart recently, so others have been doing her laundry for her and she claims Mrs. Maxwell helps her make up her bed every morning, which is neat.”

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“And of course she's still coming in to steal her morning fruit.”

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“Maxwell does not shower everyday. She is very interesting. She speaks 7 different languages. Mostly she keeps to herself. I heard she is also helping X file her appeal to remain in the US because they want to deport her after she is released.”

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“Breakfast Crimes” Are Mentioned By My Source Often

• “And of course she's still coming in to steal her morning fruit . I haven't seen her outside exercising as much lately with it being so hot but she still does her yoga class in the evenings. I'm not in the yoga class, but i do sit around to observe it.  Yesterday, I did notice her standing around in the cafeteria looking for someone to sit with to eat and eventually, like always, she sits with Mrs Novak.”

• “They picked softball teams yesterday afternoon and I was out there and Maxwell isn't playing this season. But I did see her typical morning breakfast theft in the kitchen coming to get her apple and milk haha.”

• “I did attend breakfast this morning and witnessed Maxwell stealing her banana from the chow hall to be able to leave with it. Because we’re not technically allowed to leave with hall with the food and go back to our unit with it.”

art by @jarvaland

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“I am still curious about the rumor that she’s going home soon due to she’s been fighting her case,' but I’m not sure what that’s all about. Yesterday I seen her with a handful of folders and papers, talking to her case manager.”

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Nancy Novak & Gmax, plotting

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Foot note: It’s always find it amusing how different people tell a story. Check out Brad Hunter’s haughty descrips of the ‘stiletto-thin publishing heiressover’ at the Toronto Sun. Lol

“Ghislaine Maxwell once strode like a colossus in her cloistered high-society world.

Now, she is living in terror in a Florida prison where two vicious Cuban gangbangers reportedly have targeted the disgraced socialite after she ratted them out for trying to extort her.

According to the Daily Mail, the two women have been tossed in solitary for 47 days at FCI Tallahassee for demanding items from Maxwell’s commissary order.

The pair have now been released back into general population and Maxwell is “freaking out,” the newspaper says.

The stiletto-thin publishing heiress was convicted of sex trafficking underage girls in December 2021. In June 2022, Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

Maxwell — a former ‘it’ girl in London and New York — is also apparently refusing to use shower stalls. Shower areas are often the scene of jailhouse retribution.

Making matters worse for the former high flier is the fact the two lags hate her because they believe she’s a snob who looks down on them. She requires an escort to her library job.

The Mail reported that Maxwell is now demanding a transfer to a different federal prison.

According to source, the Cubans began squeezing the former Epstein playmate after discovering she was trading commissary goods for extra fruits, vegetables and tofu. Maxwell is vegan.”

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“I haven’t heard anything about any cuban inmates, but I’ll definitely be looking into it. I know that she contacted people in Washington, and they have been here investigating a lot of things going on at this place. What does it say about blackmailing her for commissary goods? I haven’t seen anyone in the SHU for that .. weird.. I’ll let you know what I can find out.” - Latest inmate update