'Village Crazy Lady' Has A Matt Gaetz Theory That Reads Like A Political Thriller
While media outlets and pundits are abuzz with theories about Matt Gaetz's abrupt withdrawal yesterday, a more compelling and perhaps incredibly bizarre insight comes from a citizen journalist on X known as Village Crazy Lady.
Village Crazy Lady spent two days piecing together and condensing her theory, backing it up with receipts. For anyone interested in dissecting political theater, her findings are certainly worth a read.
(*Tweets have been edited for clarity and brevity.)
Mel begins:
“Alright frens,
Now that Matt Gaetz is out of the running, you're going to hear a lot of takes on what happened, along with plenty of "keep your d*ck in your pants" jokes.
While that's always good advice, the story I'm about to share goes way beyond anything you could possibly imagine. If you're interested in a consolidated version of what really happened to Gaetz, take a seat and let me tell you a story.”
Part I: The Tax Collector
This story begins in the fall of 2019 in Florida with this man: Joel Greenberg.
At the time, Joel Greenberg was 2.5 years into his first term as the Tax Collector for Seminole County.
Greenberg is your classic rich kid who skates through life lighting fires that everyone else is forced to put out. He never lands hard because daddy's money always catches his fall. You know the type. Joel approached his role as tax collector no differently.
By late 2019, Seminole County was awash with rumors about a federal investigation into Greenberg's crypto scam involving tax collector dollars. These rumors inspired a local music teacher, Brian Beute, to throw his hat in the ring and challenge Greenberg in the 2020 Republican primary.
Despite Greenberg’s advantages (incumbency, wealth, name recognition, etc.), his significant criminal activity likely contributed to him becoming obsessed with destroying Beute both publicly and privately.
Throughout late 2019 and into 2020, Greenberg rolled out escalating smear tactics against Beute. These began as typical attacks—labeling Beute, a Michigan native, as a "carpetbagger." But they grew increasingly vicious. Greenberg even created fake Facebook profiles pretending to be Beute’s students, leaving comments accusing Beute of being a bad teacher and a pervert.
Greenberg's antics culminated when he mailed handwritten letters to Beute's school administrators, falsely accusing him of sexually assaulting students.
Greenberg probably didn’t expect the letters to be taken seriously. But when the letters were turned over to the sheriff's office, investigators found Greenberg’s fingerprints and DNA on them. He was arrested on June 23, 2020, and charged with stalking.
At the time of his arrest, Greenberg’s phone was confiscated and searched. And this is where his real legal troubles began.
Part II: A Pandora’s Box of Crimes
On Greenberg’s phone (and later his home computers), police found evidence of Greenberg committing “damn near every crime in the book”:
Embezzlement
Drug possession
Prostitution
Identity theft
Wire fraud
Crypto market manipulation
But the most damning discovery was a series of messages between Greenberg and a 17-year-old girl, discussing their “sexcapades” around Florida and beyond.
Further investigation revealed that from December 2016 to 2018, Greenberg used a "Sugar Daddy" website to solicit women for sex and escort services. Among these women was the aforementioned 17-year-old.
Altogether, Greenberg spent over $70,000 on escorts he met on the site, much of it paid for with his government-issued AMEX card. He disguised these payments as "school-related expenses."