Ballerina Farm is Confusing Media and Feminists Alike - GOOD FOR HER

The Trad Wife Controversy: A Reflection on Modern Womanhood

Ballerina Farm founder Hannah Neeleman sparked a viral sensation after an interview titled "Meet the Queen of the 'Trad Wives (and Her Eight Children)" was published last month. The article credited her as leader of the trad wife ("traditional wife") way of living and received backlash from critics arguing that the movement diminishes women's progress and advances gender inequality.

Hannah, mother to eight, addressed follower’s concerns by defending her marriage and farm life choices in an Instagram reel. "A couple of weeks ago, we had a reporter come into our home to learn more about our family and business," she said. "We thought the interview went really well. We were taken aback, however, when we saw the printed article, which shocked us and shocked the world by being an attack on my family and my marriage."

I must say, I don't know all that much about Ballerina Farm. I started following her last year because many of my friends were. I suppose I was curious about the hype. What was this pretty woman doing in those little squares that was so compelling to such a broad and diverse audience? Seeing many of my liberal friends following her confused me. From what I could tell her lifestyle, and faith based brand, goes against everything they applauded and chased in their own personal lives. I wondered what they saw in a fresh-faced stay-at-home mom, ex-ballerina who walked away from training at Juilliard, turned farm wife with too many kids to count, moonlighting as a pageant queen who competed onstage in a bathing suit just two weeks after giving birth.

At a quick glance, the virtual world of Hannah Neeleman conflicts with everything modern liberal women are encouraged to desire and promote. Admittedly, the trad wife trend baffles me too but I love how it’s confounding modern feminists. Nara Smith was my introduction to the trend. I followed her husband Lucky Smith in his previous relationship with the mother of his firstborn daughter. Their energetic romance and sheer beauty intrigued me. They were fun to watch—a new romance blooming between two photogenic young people in real-time. She was older than him if I remember right, played songs she wrote on the piano, and was a lively partner to his social presence, the polar opposite of Nara who replaced her after their breakup. Nara came to embody the role of a smitten subservient wife to Lucky. Her hours devoted to elaborate meal prepping and nursing newborns while he he was away at work. Details they shared about their lives seemed carefully curated.

Nara and Hannah's sublime virtual world is not my typical taste. Even if I was younger, in the throes of child bearing years, they don’t align with my inspirations for motherhood. I've always been drawn to bolder, brasher women with sharp humor and dynamic allure. I like messy transparency. Their family-centered content strays from politics and current events and they only let so much be known. Yet, I continue to follow because I’m interested in their pull — why millions of women follow and flock to them and their content.

What I do sense at the farm is genuine fulfillment. Without having anything in common, I respect Hannah stating her focus is on motherhood and God. That compliment comes without envy. Her days involve loads of manual labor: arranging meals for a large family, kneading bread in a disarrayed kitchen overflowing with dishes, milking cows in blonde braids, driving a tractor with toddlers on her lap, and fawning over a husband who I personally find slightly annoying. Her domestic situation is not my cup of tea. I never wanted to work that hard for homemade butter or yogurt. And the thought of raising kids off gird in a remote area terrifies me. I prefer an engaging community assist me in feat. I like a bustling Main Street lined with gourmet coffee shops and wine bars, but it would never occur to me to criticize another woman for choosing a role I don't want or relate to.

This is the problem with new-age feminist reporters. They instinctively undercut anything that thrives in conservative corners, treating tradition and religion as backward traits, even in a family setting. Low key, what no one is saying is that they all assume Hannah and her husband are voting for Trump, and they resent them for it. The article she defended herself against was a lifestyle feature masking political dismay. What a shame, right? Social media should engage and enlighten us. There’s beauty in the virtual voyeurism we’re living in. Peering into the lives of others should help us honor varied shades of mother and womanhood. Instead, envy mingled with politics breeds attack. Look at any Reddit feed attached to any popular female influencer, and you'll see what I mean. Unhappy, unfulfilled women on the internet tend to behave atrociously.

Politics is partly to blame. Liberal media cannot effectively comprehend women like Hannah who reject their goals, with an open mind. They loathe what she represents, so subconsciously they seek to discredit it. I could have told you exactly how that article would end up. The insinuations are vague enough; it vowed to pull back the curtain on Hannah Neeleman's life, but the angle naturally catered to left-leaning bias by insinuating she must be a woman trapped in an unhealthy marriage, a dismissive wife operating under the shadow of broken dance dreams, serving an overbearing husband referred to as an "all-American steak of a husband.” The piece was a soft punch to her character. And to all those who admire her.

What the writer failed to examine is more fascinating: Is the role of traditional motherhood collectively missed in a culture where women are encouraged to believe that only in corporate America competing with men should they feel validated? Or, why Hannah is so captivating in an era where woke ideology is insisting we only define ourselves as “women” with complicated scientific footnotes and gender asterisks attached. Is her allure because she has secured something females, even in a modern age, long for but are too ashamed to admit? On the other side of the Girl Boss era, is the simplicity of a loving home and partner more enviable?

Who cares if she gave up a competitive dancing career to have babies? She found someone she loved, a partner who shared her religion and life goals, and settled down to raise a family as she envisioned.

The backlash is a liberal issue. When a successful woman doesn't adhere to democratic goalposts she's chastised for it. As a vocal Democrat sharing political musings online no one on the right attacked me for it. Once I shifted right, I was targeted ruthlessly by the same ladies who used to love me for amplifying leftist views. On the flips side, they went out of their way to cancel me from sponsors, the only jobs adding extra income to our lives at the time, called me horrific names, bullied my kids. As my success continued, they eventually gave up on canceling me from brand sponsors but have continued to gather daily in hate threads to spew lies and insults about me, as a way to make themselves feel better because they can't stand that a woman, formerly one of their own, might find greater fulfillment in more conservative circles.

In every thread, one of these ladies is sure to refer to me as a "fucking cunt." Depending on the day, I'm a white trash drunk, a grifter neglecting my family to chase politicians around the country, with a serial cheating husband, drowning in credit card debut, and losing control of troubled teenagers — OR, a radical right-wing nutjob who defends rapists and is secretly funded by seedy PR firms. Whatever the case, I'm always “a cunt.” Liberal trolls are not very creative in their slander. Mainstream media is more cunning. The general intent, though, is the same. They shame religious women who choose and thrive in traditional domestic roles that Republicans readily celebrate.

What you think about her, Ballerina Farm seems at ease in her surroundings. Like she would be doing the things she's doing with or without an audience watching. The money isn't what drives her. That alone confuses people. After discovering that Hannah’s father-in-law owned JetBlue, the narrative became that she could only manage this homesteading dream life because of an endless budget. The money meant she must be a fraud, living simply with substantial financial backing at the core of it. Yes, money makes things easier. But the bliss in her baking is real.

I would love to hear what you all think about it. My investment in the Trad Wife trend (outside of this story) is minimal. On occasion, I find it eerie, edging on satirical, but like that it’s shaking up the conversation. Turns out, millions of women enjoy watching other women cosplaying 1950s homemakers who stay at home and cook elaborate meals in sexy slip dresses from scratch, manage blush and curls, speak in hushed tones while peeling onions without tears, and hand-feed their husband's slices of pie as proof of their affections.

Is it anti-feminist? Or a left-leaning problem? Liberal women preach about independence and autonomy but seem to only celebrate what matches their version of it.

I've lived both. For 15 years, I was a stay-at-home mom and loved every second of it. I knew with my first son that I didn't want to work after he was born. That was a decision I made that Mike had to accept. I dropped out of the teaching credential program, set writing goals aside, and settled happily into the role of a young mother who spent long days at the park and drove neighborhood kids around town in a beat up van. We didn't take, and couldn’t afford, vacations. Neither of us wanted fancy cars. For kicks, we parked a renovated motorhome at the beach every weekend and made the most with friends on the same budget as us who would meet us for BBQs and potlucks. Our life (up until two or three years ago) was simple but satisfying. I changed all the diapers and bathed the boys. I made the school events and the doctor appointments, organized playdates, did all the laundry, and laid them down every day for their nap. I felt empowered by pregnancy and later as a mother juggling a hectic home life with four kids. I approached this role with gratitude and joy. Neither of us were concerned with wanting more and I certainly never thought I wasn't enough. I trusted that my path, all my decisions would pay off as long as I answered my own wants. And, it did. Every choice led me to where I am now, in this new chapter where all of my previously tucked-away dreams are coming to life in ways I never imagined.

The boys are older now. Mike takes them to dentist appointments and skateparks and does the carpool pickups and the grocery runs. Our roles in this tide have switched dramatically. Flexibility is our saving grace.

As girls, my sister and I would play Barbies for hours every day. We each had custom houses where our Barbies and their families lived. Hers were always orderly, clean, and predictable because they had routines she dreamt up and stuck to, much like her real life operates now, entirely opposite to how I run mine. Her dolls made it to lessons on time and went to bed at a decent hour. Mine lived far more recklessly. Every day was different. Every night unexpected guests dropped by to visit. My Barbie piled her friends and their kids into an old brown metal Bronco with no roof we scored at a thrift shop and drove everyone to the beach or the river to camp. They were a big full family in search of adventure. In hindsight, in those afternoons we were both drafting the blueprint for our future families. What we envisioned our lives as adults might look like. I never wanted hers, and she never wanted mine, but we loved the homes each other built.

Diverse brands of feminism can coexist in the world of influencers and beyond. From the brash and dynamic to the reserved and traditional, there is space for every woman to find and celebrate her niche. Ballerina Farm may not resonate with everyone, but her brand represents a valid and valued perspective in the broader tapestry of modern womanhood.

The trad wife movement, exemplified by Hannah Neeleman, sparks strong reactions because it challenges contemporary ideals by forcing us to reconsider what fulfillment looks like in different lives and question the societal norms we've come to accept. Hannah's story isn't about regression, it’s about choice. She embodies a version of success not measured by corporate titles, but personal contentment and family harmony that is, at the core, rooted in her faith in God.

Ultimately, the real goal of feminism should recognize and respect the diverse paths women take. Critique should be fostering understanding rather than perpetuating division. If we let go of the judging and started embracing varied perspectives, we might appreciate the richness of modern womanhood and the different ways it manifests in other’s lives.

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Feel free to weigh in in comments below. What do you love or loathe about the trad wife phenomenon? Are religious women a threat to mainstream media? Are feminist advances really making women happier?