Britney vs. Jamie Lynn

what to make of the Spears sister's public quarrel

In the months since Britney’s conservatorship was finally dissolved, we’ve watched her celebrate her newfound freedom in weekend car rides, with the windows down singing along to her songs on the stereo on full blast, working out, dancing in her living room, boarding private jets, traveling with her boyfriend to exotic destinations, drinking champagne, laying out, and sharing photos on Instagram attached to captions filled with new gratitude and hope.

Sometimes she shares photos of kittens, or holiday decor, other times she shares nude photos of herself in various poses in a bathroom reflection, urging America to “kiss her ass.”

---

---

What we’re seeing is plenty of pent up rage seeping out of captions these days. Understandably, she’s still furious over the role her family members played in keeping her locked her up for well over a decade. Resentments she appears to be working through publicly, via social media. Sometimes, it can be very hard to watch. All of us on the other side of the screen wondering who is there to love, encourage and support her through all of these complicated emotions.

There is also a weird dynamic at play here, where - because of the trauma we know she suffered over the media’s framing of her as “crazy” back in the early 2000’s - no one is wanting to openly question her state of mind, for fear of sounding critical of a woman who clearly needs some room for healing. To the point where she can post the most erratic images with frazzled captions, and no one will say out loud “I’m really worried about her.”

But I am.

I keep hoping a glimmer of the old Britney will resurface, as proof she’s on a forward healing path. Supported by people who truly care about her. But I haven’t seen that yet. Instead I fragments of a broken woman, struggling with how to move forward in this next chapter of life. Emotionally stunted by the pains of her past.

I want to know who’s watching over her? Because Sam, the IG fiancé, is still highly suspect to me. His adoration feels almost like a skit. Where he pops up randomly to show them together being silly in cartoon faced filters, or holding a new puppy on her front lawn, but the depth of his dedication always feels superficial to me.

I know Sam Lutfi, in our conversations last Spring was convinced Sam is the real deal. Suggesting we should all support this union because Sam is good for her, and makes her happy. A claim I really tried hard to embrace, but have seen too many red flags at this point to overlook.

Now we have this ongoing quarrel between Jamie Lynn and Britney in light of the release of Jamie Lynn’s new book. Unfolding in a very messy, very destructive manner. I haven’t read the book but I did listen to Jamie Lynn on the ‘Call her Daddy’ podcast the other night, where she details the roots of their estrangement. And the abuse both sisters endured while living under the glare of an intense spotlight, guided by a violent drunk and an enabling mother.

After watching, I felt like I owed my audience an apology. Seeing how I am as guilty as anyone, for pitting these two sisters against each other in my coverage of Britney’s fight for freedom. Framing Britney as the kinder, more talented sister and Jamie Lynn as the jealous, unstable, less lovable one. The podcast made me feel very guilty about how I portrayed them. Especially as a parent, where it feels careless on my end to overlook both experiences, as different as they may have been for each of these girls, growing up in this family, under these circumstances wasn’t easy. When you consider how one child was essentially the parent’s sole focus, and income, ultimately revolving their entire life around the pursuit of her stardom, while another child - 10 years younger - is basically along for the ride.

I have to imagine what that does to one’s self confidence.

When Jamie Lynn says she grew up feeling like she “didn’t matter,” I believe her. And when she says her role in the family was to make sure she didn’t taint her sister’s image, I believe that too. Watching her describe what it was like when she first started to realized Britney was beginning to suffer from bouts of anxiety and paranoia, awakened new empathy in me.

It must have been terrifying for her. Without any emotional tools, or parental support, there to aid either of them.

She describes hearing about her sister’s head shaving incident from a friend, recalling how hard it was to keep from breaking down. How much she just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed, a reaction I think all of us can relate to at that age after an emotional blow, but her parents were off doing damage control in another town.

While Britney, on the opposite end, resents how hard they worked her. How much responsibility she was forced to bare throughout her childhood. Viewing JL’s experience as carefree and nourishing.

It’s a multi faceted situation here, and the fight between them just keeps getting uglier. Surely the media (even people like me) aren’t helping things much. So I just wanted to step forward and say, I was wrong in how I divided them as victor and villian. I don’t think JL is entirely innocent of the accusations Britney raises, but I do think both women deserve their voices heard. Even though the two of them are sure to break our hearts.

Shame on you Mr. and Mrs. Spears.