Bud Calls Fraud On Endangered Species
"Save the buffalo. I think they succeeded. I think they did save the buffalo. And now we eat them. They have buffalo burgers in the supermarket."
Bud ‘The Parking Lot Prophet” is back, and this week he’s got a bone to pick with endangered animals. He doesn’t believe in them. He also resents NPR for convincing his mother to spend “millions of dollars” trying to save them. He points out how the buffalos we vowed to protect in the 90’s are now high-priced burgers sold at Whole Foods.
He insists it’s all political. Again, he blames Harvard scientists and “evil genius” Democrats.
Bud also rejects the validity of the adorable deep-sea smiling species current times are concerned with saving. He suspects the Axolotl — now deemed “critically endangered,” is more likely an AI creation that has the potential to outshine Peppa Pig. The theory infuriated my youngest son so much that when I presented it to him out to dinner last night, he got up and left the table. He loves learning about the Axolotl. Parking lot Bud, he’s no longer a fan of.
Trigger Warning: BUD IS NO FAN OF HOUSE PETS (cat lovers be warned – dog lovers, he said he’s coming for you next).
Bud Wants To Sue NPR For His Mother’s Obsession With Saving Endangered Animals
Harvard Studies & Professors
Paid For Science
Climate Change = Climate Anxiety
Yale Girls - “Some of the stupidest people” he’s ever met
Bud Challenges Existence of The Axolotl
“My friends block people who never called them”
“Falling in love with fakeness”
Moon landing called into question
“Harvard doesn’t make sense!”
“Chasing a degree in nothingness – saving animals that don’t exist”
According to the web: “Endangered Cause is population decreasing — Axolotl decline are due to human development, waste water disposal, and loss of habitat due to droughts. Despite their prevalence in the aquarium trade, these species are critically endangered in the wild.”
DINNER TEXTS
Up Ahead:
A breakdown of the viral TikTok series “Don't Say Schwarzenegger” + 4 Pt. NYC recap detailing Trump trial tensions + Trespassing tour of his childhood home + Review of the infamous taco salad served at Trump Tower
Bud is so entertaining. When he decides to sue NPR, I’m gonna need you to cover the entire case. TIA🤣
Bud needs his own podcast! Hilarious. My cat gives him a thumbs down. Don’t know about the extinct sea animals, but the sickos are using the land animal extinction reason to grab more land. They are also taking some areas of the national parks and using for satanic rituals. The public is not allowed anywhere near those areas so its a perfect cover for the sickos.