End of Month Musings

April Mash Up: compliments, complaints, cultural high points & critiques

April’s recap comes a week early because I am off to the UK on Monday and not sure if I’ll have time to write when I’m over there. 

Why does Drew Barrymore insist on upping these silly shenanigans? Am I the only one who can see that everyone looks uncomfortable with this knee groveling? Someone needs to say out loud how cringe inducing this is.

I realize this is not vital or even timely news — but an excuse to express my extreme annoyance, so I can take a breath and move on. I don't even watch the show.

Does anyone watch daytime TV anymore?

Sara Foster went on an IG rant a couple of weeks ago blaming liberals for ruining cities like SF and LA. It was unexpected, honest, and for a familiar face in Hollywood — quite brave. 

Coachella fashion is the worst welcoming to Spring. The older I get, the more I dread it. Genuinely. Passionately. I resent the unsightly injection in my IG feed. With better preparation, I might remember to log off during festival weekend next year to avoid the onslaught of shredded shorts, fringe boots, bad scarves, greasy hair, and an array of predictable crop tops that - when put tougher - always looks like a costume designed to satisfy a crowd in hipster hell. 

Also, who even cares about Bad Bunny? 

My ideal alternative? Royal Ascot fashion recaps showcasing diamonds, extravagant hats, martinis, and leggy thoroughbreds. 

Keep the desert, kids. I’ll take all the rich hatted ladies at the horse races, please

Jack Nicholson Emerged from hibernation like a bear greeting a new world after months of weighted slumber. I feel this deeply. Soulfully. He is every mother at the end of a school year confronting the chaos of summer break that hangs in the balance. I’m just happy after rumors of him near death, that he’s up and well. Birdwatching and whatnot.

Let The Man Live.

Taylor swift drama 

Is she divorced? Newly broken up? On the prowl? Boring as hell?

Yes. To at least two.

I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. I stopped paying attention to her rotating arm associates after Jake G (even that was stretching my interest.) She is one celebrity I hold zero stake in, but respect that she means something to a lot of other people (with questionable taste) - so I want it noted that I mentioned her. Regrettably, but still…I could be in a small cafe seated near her without the slightest desire to eavesdrop on her phone convo or peek over to see what she’s ordered. 

The way people care about Swift is the only example I can compare to what it must be like for those who don’t get my adoration of the Queen. It must baffle them the same way. 

Anyway, she popped up in the city with her girl gang (“squad”- whatever they call it) stalking the streets of NY. Below her is the male version (which I’m even less interested in)

Us facing war with UFO’s

So, the Pentagon released some terrifying video footage of what appears to be an unidentified flying object flying over the Middle East captured by a US military drone and appears to show a silver spherical object flying rapidly through the sky in what has been described as an active military zone. But shit it too crazy on earth for anyone to really care.

Kim Kardashian Ruined His Life and now he’s trying to raise enough money to sue her. Or at least fund a few billboards in Calabashes to drag her the old-fashioned way her so friends on their way to NOBU are forced to see it. But, get this — Mysteriously David’s Instagram was deleted today. Without any warning or reason. 

Go look

Hollywood mafia does not play.

New Royal Uniforms brings a new dawn, and with that new initials on new uniforms, for a new king.

I. Am. Not. Ready.

Meghan’s AI selfie appeared this week, leaving lots to wonder why she looks so different. What do you think?

And, is this newly generated version (hopefully) maybe more tolerable?

Maddox accompanied Angie to the White House for a state dinner this week where Joe Biden hosted South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeoland First Lady Kim Keon Hee.

A dashing pair, right?

Succession is back and the tension in these last two episodes is all I need from late night TV. I can’t get enough of Shiv and her blunt cut bob and daring outwear trying to shack up with a dodgy vampire, while Tom is walking around self conscious over his new glaring sneakers. Greg, forever struggling to appear relevant. Roman, silently suffering and ready to snap. Kendall, entering his villain era with same bad rap and baseball caps.

The Roy’s. We love to hate them and hate to love them.

Robert Kennedy announced his Presidential bid which makes a good portion of the anti-vax folks happy, and the old-school democrats (who are now Republicans) maybe happier. 

Another ‘Kennedy’ on a campaign sign. It could be worse.

Alec & Hilaria are giving Harry and Meghan a run for their money. I always say I don’t do trigger warnings but in this case - scrolling onto this image without any preparation, ruined me in ways I might never recover.

Seriously. 

Whose idea was this?

The image posted just as news broke that Alec would not be charged for the death of his coworker. Was this really their attempt to convey innocence … or relief? Whatever the case, all I can think is what had to happen to secure this shot: 17 kids screaming in the distance, noodles in the hair of a blue-eyed baby named Carmelita, nanny in the corner texting friends about how stupid this shot is going to be, iPhone set on a timer, (I’m guessing 10 seconds because the arrangement of her hair takes extra time) Alec holding his eyes closed (with gentle force) waiting for the timer to snap, Hilaria nestling her head into his shoulder like a childwife that’s been forgiven for stealing a baguette from a street corner in some dim Spanish alleyway. 

If offensive creative direction was punishable legally, THEY WOULD BOTH BE IN JAIL.

Speaking of jail - Elizabeth Holmes is headed there soon, leaving a new baby behind for 11 years.

In an unsurprising appeal filed last minute on Wednesday, Holmes received a brief postponement on her surrender to federal prison in connection with an appeal of her case filed in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Holmes gave birth to her second child, Invicta, on February 9th at the University of California San Diego Jacobs Medical Center. Now she’s been ordered to surrender her freedom to federal prison officials on April 27. Her motion in the appeals court triggered an automatic freeze of the bail denial until the appeals court issues a ruling, buying her a little more time. 

While it is unclear when the appeals court will rule on her conviction - her co-defendant, Ramesh "Sunny" Balwani, was able to postpone his sentence by about a month due to a similar (automatic) appeals court delay.

Holmes' lawyers requested home confinement with community service and no more than a year and 1/2 half in prison — citing her toddler and now newborn child who need care, but the judge handed an 11-year prison sentence despite the plea. 

“She is living out her last days of freedom in a $9million beachside mansion in San Diego with her partner - multi-millionaire Billy Evans and other members of her family.

A source in the neighborhood told DailyMail.com that Elizabeth has been putting a brave face on as she hopes against hope that a last-ditch bid will keep her out of prison – at least in the immediate future.

'She is very stoic on the outside, pretending like she doesn't have a care in the world, but on the inside she's got to be miserable,' said the insider.

'She's going to be missing out on her two young kids' most important time of their life. Her youngest growing up may not even recognize her as her mother for several years.

'Elizabeth's emotions must be at tipping point. After giving birth most women's hormones are all over the place, coupled with leaving her young kids for 10 years. I can't even imagine what she's going through.

'Every morning when she wakes up, she is one day closer to leaving her kids.

'It has to be torture.”

Tucker and Don - Monday rattled us all. No one saw that coming. When the first DM popped through, alerting me that Tucker had been let go from FOX, my first thought was: “But Tucker Carlson IS FOX NEWS."

Then Don Lemon.

The news sent significant shockwaves throughout the news industry and among viewers. Twitter fired off theories immediately over why Tucker Carlson, the most watched man on TV, with a base that clings to his conservative commentary and provocative opinions, was let go without an official statement by FOX. They announced his departure like it was someone mildly appreciated from craft services. Not the titan of their network.

And while we’ve yet to get an explanation his latest remarks echo the sentiment of those pushing for the rise in independent journalism to combat compromised integrity in mainstream news.

Is it a coincidence that he spoke candidly, just days before this severing, about the control sponsors like Big Pharma have over networks?

Hard to believe.

Weirdly enough, Tucker and Don, “freshly ousted from their perches at top cable networks,” have now hired the same powerhouse lawyer to navigate their exits.

One of them, we’ll be watching closely.

Sofia Richie’s wedding last week was the toast of TikTok. She (smartly) included her follower a peek into the preparations leading up to her stunning wedding in the South of France. The model / social media personality (or, Nicole Richie’s little sister as many of us know her) delighted the internet by sharing slices of event prep, makeup choices, and plenty of enviable outfits worn to various occasions before the big day.

Tightly wound buns dewy skin and classic Chanel. 

I’m hoping this vibe - old money (modest) aesthetic - might inspire a refreshing break from the suffocating spandex catwear and trashy gothic trampsuits the Kardashians have so painfully exhausted on us.

“A few weeks before the wedding—and ahead of debuting her new last name on TikTok—the bride went to the Chanel haute couture salons in Paris, accompanied by her mother-in-law, Lady Caroline Grainge, and her best friend, Ali Meller, for her final dress fittings. “Working with Chanel was not only an honor but a true dream of mine,” Sofia says. “Having the opportunity to create this dress and work so closely with Madame Olivia Douchez, première of haute couture salons, and observing their art and immaculate attention to detail was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

A trio of dresses was created by Chanel for her three major wedding-weekend events: the rehearsal dinner, which took place on Friday night at a private estate; the ceremony; and the after-party. “It has always been a dream of mine to have Chanel design my wedding dress,” Sofia says. “At my first fitting at the Chanel salons in Paris, I immediately envisioned the dress I wanted to get married in: a beautiful lace-embroidered halter gown with a long train. Within the dress are subtle details, including an embroidered heart to represent the love that Elliot and I share, as well as a blue embroidered S&E on the inside of the dress above my heart.” Sofia wanted to do something unique for her veil, so she worked with the Chanel team to create a glistening piece adorned with resin water droplets that sparkled when she walked.

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Trial News:

Trump - E. Jean Carroll took the stand on Thursday in her civil battery and defamation lawsuit against Trump. She described her experience with him in a New York department store in the face of cross-examination from Trump’s attorney.

Trump’s defense focused on why Carroll did not publicly report the alleged rape at the time or get the attention of others in the store.

Attorney Joe Tacopina repeatedly asked why Carroll did not scream during the approximately 3-minute alleged attack in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room, or even afterward.

“I’m not a screamer,” Carroll testified at the US District Court in Manhattan. “I was too much in panic to scream.”

“You can’t beat up on me for not screaming,” she told the defense lawyer. “Women who don’t come forward, one of the reasons they don’t come forward is they are asked why they didn’t scream. Some women scream, some women don’t. It keeps women silent.”

Carroll added: “I’m telling you, he raped me whether I screamed or not. I don’t need an excuse for not screaming.”

Trump then took to his social media platform about an hour before the second day of the trial began, claiming Carroll’s case was “a made up SCAM” and accused her lawyers of being “political operatives.”

He also called for the dress she wore on the day of the alleged rape to be brought into the trial — something that Carroll sought to do early on in the case to compare the garment against Trump’s DNA.

In a second post, Trump wrote: “They got caught lying! The Miss Bergdorf Goodman case is financed by a big political donor that they tried to hide. Does anybody believe that I would take a then almost 60 year old woman that I didn’t know, from the front door of a very crowded department store, (with me being very well known, to put it mildly!), into a tiny dressing room, and …. her. She didn’t scream? There are no witnesses? Nobody saw this? She never made a police complaint? If I was seen there with a woman-BIG PRESS. SCAM!”

Masterson - Danny Masterson returned to Los Angeles court for his retrial. Leah Remini showed up in support of the victims.

Remini tweeted Monday night: “Before opening arguments began, Danny’s Scientology-controlled lawyers tried to get the judge to throw me out of the courtroom based on the false premise that they had planned to call me as a witness in the trial. First, I am not on the witness list for the prosecution. Second, this shows how threatened Scientology is by the truth,” she continued.

Scientology spokesperson Karin Pouw retailied in an email:

“If you are going to write about Leah Remini, you can’t do it without pointing out her continuous unwavering support for the rapist Paul Haggis and her continuous efforts to shame his victims. Isn’t it obvious that for Remini this isn’t about justice, it’s about finding every way she can to exercise her bigotry against Scientology through hate?

It will be journalistic malpractice to write an article about Remini without pointing that inconsistency out,” Pouw concluded. (Remini testified on Haggi’s behalf, claiming that the lawsuit filed against him by his former publicist was fabricated by the institution in retaliation for his departure in 2009.)

Prince Harry - Harry is claiming that he was the victim for much of his life of phone hacking and other illegal behaviour by journalists working for the Sun and the News of the World. He claims his relationships and friendships were destroyed by press intrusion, with reporters working for Rupert Murdoch’s tabloids illegally hacking his voicemails and hiring private investigators to obtain private information.

He claims these tactics were used to obtain stories about his personal life and relationships with headlines such as “Emotional Harry rang girlfriend at midnight to confess”, “Chelsy’s topless treat for Harry” and “Harry’s mad night of lust”. He outlined at least 101 separate alleged payments made by the Sun to private investigators for information on him and his relationships, as well as stories he says were the result of his phone being hacked. - The Guardian

Fugues - Fugees rapper Pras Michel is facing up to 20 years in prison after being found guilty of conspiring to help China influence the U.S. government. Obama and Trump were dragged into it. Leo DiCaprio testified, and ! Pras was outted as CIA ! -

Where was the coverage?

Adam Waldman tweeted: “Curious about the dearth of media coverage of the biggest political corruption trial in US history, I attended in person. No media; 6 observers, counting me.

“Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties Are free to drink martinis And watch the sun rise” -Bob Dylan