EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE FAILED TRUMP ASSASSINATION

A Dispatch from the Reality Buffet

As I catch up on backlog chapters please welcome Shane Cashman as featured guest writer today.

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I know it’s only been a little over a month since the attempt on former President Trump’s life, and a lot has been reported, but we know for sure that Thomas Matthew Crooks was the lone shooter. He was also one of two shooters. Actually, it’s possible there were three shooters. Or he wasn’t the shooter at all. He was a patsy. The real shooter was on the water tower. However, the water tower ladder was never used that day, and the water tower was inspected and cleared by way of a drone thanks to the County tactical commander. Whomever shot at Trump, it’s been speculated by those familiar with Hillary Clinton’s thinking that she, in fact, kissed each bullet before they were given to the shooter.

We know Thomas Matthew Crooks lived approximately 40 miles from Butler, PA—where he allegedly dreamed of becoming an assassin. He worked at a nursing home. He planned the assassination attempt all by himself. He used encrypted messaging apps based in New Zealand, Belgium, and Germany. We don’t know who he was talking to, but he was certainly talking to Iran or Russia, or even one of our own federal agents posing as an overseas profile. Crooks had no digital footprint, but we know he Googled Lee Harvey Oswald and JFK.

The assassination attempt was politically motivated, but also the assassination attempt was not politically motivated.

Crooks was a registered Republican. He donated to Democrats. He liked to wear camouflage. He was a gun nut. He showed no signs of mental illness. He had major depressive disorder. He was trans. He preferred she pronouns. He was a white nationalist. He was a male feminist. He was antisemitic. He was Jewish. He was antifa. He was MAGA. He was a Fed. He was under a spell. Clandestine organizations hypnotized him into political bloodlust. He was a remote-controlled assassin for violent deep state vampires. He was radicalized on the dark web. He was Mossad. He was a tool to gain power utilized by the Five Eyes. He was an actor in a Black Rock commercial. He was an accelerationist. He was a proxy weapon controlled by accelerationists, but he had no idea about accelerationism. He was pumped full of SSRIs. He was just a crazy loner kid fetishizing infamy. He wanted to see his name in headlines. Thomas Matthew Crooks wasn’t even his real name. His entire identity was born in a CIA lab. He did long range target practice at the same shooting range used by the Department of Homeland Security.

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The failed assassin’s parents called the police worried about their son hours before Trump’s rally in Butler, PA. Crooks was able to fly a drone over the rally area to scope out the best possible options for an assassination. Leading up to the rally, the Secret Service failed to employ drones to help surveil the event.  

July 13^th, 2024 just so happened to be the first time Secret Service counter snipers were ever deployed to protect the former president at a rally. This was just a coincidence.

Crooks fired 8 shots in just over 5 seconds. One attendee, Corey Comperatore, was shot and killed. Comperatore was standing between the gunman and the former president. Two other attendees were injured. Eight casings were retrieved from the sloped roof where the shooter took aim at the former president. He was killed by the Secret Service counter snipers, or he was killed by the local police. He never died, because he was never alive. His corpse was handcuffed as it lay prone and bloodied on the roof. He was a cadaver that the Secret Service placed on the roof for a photo op. They said Crooks used a ladder to get to the roof, but he also might’ve scaled the A/C unit.

A man in a grey suit joined the Secret Service on the roof to view the failed assassin’s dead body. The Secret Service thought the man in the grey suit was Secret Service. He told one of the men on the roof to send all their pictures to a specific number. The man in the grey suit was not part of the Secret Service. No one knew him. He is still a mystery.

Biden’s rhetoric brought this on Trump. Trump’s rhetoric brought this on Trump.

Former President Donald J. Trump narrowly avoided the failed assassin’s bullet when he turned his head to view a chart about immigration. 

His survival was divine intervention. It was a miracle. The wind that day twisted the American flag into the shape of a cross. In every other timeline, Trump did not survive. This was proof we aren't in a simulation, but it's also proof we live in a simulation. 

Trump knew to turn his head because Barron Trump, an actual time traveler, had already seen all these events play out and knew to warn his father. 

But, also, there was no bullet. Trump was not shot. If there was a bullet, it didn't even touch the former president. Actually, the bullet hit a teleprompter, and the shattered glass grazed Trump’s ear.

Former President Donald J. Trump staged the assassination attempt to gain favor in the polls.

Trump chewed a blood capsule when he fell to his knees and smeared it on his face to appear injured. Vince McMahon taught Trump how to pull off a stunt like this. 

The digital collective consciousness manifested the assassination attempt, and the digital collective consciousness manifested Trump’s survival.  

July 13^th was another American fear ritual. It was a false flag. The man who photographed the bullet flying behind Trump’s head, Doug Mills, also photographed President George W. Bush when he found out that hijacked planes hit the Twin Towers. Trump's raised fist was a pre-planned photo op. He’s a reality star afterall, he knows how to manipulate perception with a camera lens. This was the Keeping up with the Kardashians of assassination attempts. 

When Trump fell to his knees, he was born again. God spoke to him. According to some estimates, half the country wept in joy, meanwhile the other half wished that Crooks was successful. 

People reported seeing a UFO hovering over the rally as Trump fell to his knees. An image of a UFO above the rally circulated across social media platforms. People speculated if the UFO intervened to save Trump. Others believe the UFO was puppeteering the would-be assassin, and others think the UFO was merely there to observe the assassination. The photo that circulated across social media platforms of the UFO was also a digital rendering of a fake sky with a fake UFO—although some find it curious that just a few months prior to the assassination attempt, Butler, PA did host a UFO expo.

As the assassination attempt played out in real time on social media, people questioned if it was even happening. Facebook and Google censored the story. Very smart and important people in America who celebrated when Alex Jones was sued for a billion dollars for questioning the veracity of the Sandy Hook shooting got whiplash from turning around and questioning the veracity of the shooting at Trump's rally. 

The Secret Service said they had everything under control, but also can't confirm anything. The local Butler police had everything under control too, but they weren't communicating with the Secret Service. At least five Secret Service agents have since been put on “modified duty.” It was clearly an inside job, but it was absolutely not an inside job. It was gross incompetence, though it was also designed to look that way. 

A 20-year-old would-be assassin sneaking past the surveillance state is both an indictment on the pandemic of incompetence and on those who exploit the incompetence as a cover to perform public atrocities to satisfy their bloodlust. 

In the time since the failed attempt on Trump’s life, the failed assassin’s body went missing. He was mysteriously cremated. The FBI, so far as one can discern, did not authorize the cremation. (The surviving parts of John F. Kennedy’s brain went missing from the National Archives sometime after he was assassinated.)

In his report for the Task Force investigating the assassination attempt, Rep. Clay Higgins wrote, On J23, Crooks was gone. Nobody knew this until Monday, August 5, including the County Coroner, law enforcement, Sheriff, etc. Yes, Butler County Coroner technically had legal authority over the body, but I spoke with the Coroner, and he would have never released Crooks’ body to the family for cremation or burial without specific permission from the FBI.”

As for the possibility of a shooter on the water tower, Higgins wrote, “If there had been someone on that tower on J13, it would have to have been some top-shelf operator way beyond anything I’ve ever actually seen. Regular SWAT operators or snipers would not have the skills and gear to quickly overcome the first 25 feet of no ladder and then climb the remaining 75 feet to the catwalk, and then climb the quite intimidating and precarious dome vent access ladder. It is true that the vent area at the very top of the water tower is the only point that would have allowed a clear line of sight to both Trump and Crooks’ firing position... I do not believe it was possible for a ‘2nd shooter’ sniper to be on top of that water tower on J13, nor have I seen any evidence that supports the theory of a 2nd shooter. I’m not saying conclusively that there was no other shooter somewhere or that no other conspirators were involved in J13, but I’m saying that based on my investigation thus far, there were 10 shots fired on J13, and all shots are accounted for, and all shots align with their source. Crooks’ 8 shots (3 plus 5), ESU SWAT 1 shot, USSS southern sniper team 1 shot.”

At the very least, we know this much: we know everything, and we know nothing. We know the assassination attempt on former president Donald J. Trump has been memory holed, while others are trying to prevent it from disappearing from the public consciousness altogether—unless, of course, it's the version they want to accept, or the one they prefer we all accept. Depending on whom you ask, it’s as if it never happened, but it also never stopped happening.

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Up Ahead: Expect back to back posts tomorrow recapping both the RNC and the DNC - two wildly different experiences detailed + plenty of intimate chapters backtracking timeline on the campaign trail. Hard to believe we only have 66 days left!?