The Graduate
A Look Back at Jackie Kennedy's Devotion to Her Son's Education Through Auctioned Letters to Brown University
"John, remember, when you grow up you must always try to be half as good a man as your father was." — Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Naturally, I'm feeling extra sentimental following my oldest son's high school graduation this week (more on that later), but for those of you who have experienced this already, you know what an emotional time it is for any mother; how it stirs up a whirlwind of emotions to see our children suddenly standing as young adults, ready to step into the world, when it feels like we cradled them in our arms only yesterday.
We penned love notes and tucked them into their brown lunch bags, applauded their first steps, marveled at ragged monster sketches and hand painted macaroni necklaces, bandaged scraped elbows and knees. Milestones etched in our hearts with a rush of memories tied to every moment leading up to this passage. It's a strange thing to digest—celebration weighed by nostalgia and the bittersweet acceptance that time is just as cruel and passes just as quickly as everyone older than us warned it would.
Last week, in my increasingly fragile state, I was scrolling through old graduation photos of past presidents when I stumbled upon the auction tale of Jackie Kennedy’s letters to John Jr.'s universities. It struck me deeply, as I have always admired Jackie Kennedy's committed effort to keep her children as grounded and humble as possible under the media microscope they were forced to endure after their father's death.
I made the mistake of watching (yet again) the clip of John and his mother at his college graduation. He spots her in the line up, calls out "Mommy!" She smiles back, clapping as he passes, bearing the same prideful expression captured in images decades earlier, as he learned to tie his shoes on a theater seat beside her.
In this instant, she is me.
In this instant, she is all of us.
Rewind.
Rewatch.
Another excuse for a new flood of tears.
Jackie’s Letters to JFK Jr.’s Professors
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, a woman of extraordinary stature, demonstrated an unparalleled commitment to her role as mother in the aftermath of her husband's tragic assassination. Her focus on her son's education became a beacon of her signature strength and resilience.
In 2017, historical document dealer Gary Zimet unveiled John F. Kennedy Jr.'s application to Brown University and several letters Jacqueline wrote to school administrators, vividly illustrating her dedicated commitment to her son's academic journey.
On July 2, 1980, Jackie penned a letter to a school official named Ms. Romer regarding John Jr.'s incomplete courses, which were necessary for his freshman year completion. In the letter she explained, "John is in Africa and not expected to be home until the third week in August," adding that she would attempt to contact him to ensure he could make up his courses by September 15.
An obituary in Brown University's alumni magazine revealed that John Jr. spent that summer in South Africa learning about social issues like apartheid. The post detailed his efforts in creating a student organization with Randall Poster '84, leveraging Kennedy's political connections to bring notable speakers to campus.
Her letters attest to the Kennedy family's commitment to academic responsibilities, stating, "Living up to academic responsibilities has always been of first importance in our house, so neither John nor I will fail to be galvanized by your message." She was humble in her ask — clarifying that her intention was not to seek special treatment for her son but to highlight the unique burden he bore, campaigning for his uncle Ted Kennedy's 1980 presidential bid.
“Living up to academic responsibilities has always been at first importance in our house, so neither John nor I will fail to be galvanized by your message,” Jackie said, adding that her intentions were not for her son to receive special treatment because of his lineage.
I think I would rather have a child enthusiastically try to do too much rather than try to get by with as little as possible,” she wrote. “This scare should teach him the vital lesson of how to allot every second of his time. Tomorrow I will start frantically to try to find him!”
In advocating for her son, Jackie acknowledged his poor time management but also his enthusiasm for taking on numerous responsibilities. She wrote, "I think I would rather have a child enthusiastically try to do too much rather than try to get by with as little as possible. This scare should teach him the vital lesson of how to allot every second of his time."
A subsequent letter to Dean McIntosh, dated August 30, 1980, revealed John Jr.'s probation status. In it, Jackie discussed their plans for his sophomore year, expressing hope for better organization and effort. "We have had long discussions about his sophomore year," she wrote. "I think he realizes it is time to make a major effort in the organization—and I hope he will."
Her efforts paid off.
In 1983, John Jr. graduated from Brown University with a bachelor's degree in American Studies.
"My mother was protective and very concerned with us being whole, normal people."
“Still, Jackie O seemingly tried to make her son’s life as a student as normal as possible, from admitting checking “no” on “Do you routinely pick up your room, make your bed and keep things neat?” in the freshman questionaire to, later — once JFK Jr. was a student at Brown — writing the school dean, “I have never asked for special consideration for my children because I feel that is harmful to them.” — W Magazine
“She gave me a love of literature and history, and she taught me to look at the world with a sense of wonder." — John F. Kennedy Jr.
Zimet, who obtained the letters and John Jr.'s application from a housekeeper cleaning a Brown University administrator's home, remarked on Jackie's committed involvement in her son's education. "If you see everything she wrote, you'll see that she was really, tremendously involved with his education," he said.
A second handwritten letter to Dean McIntosh, dated August 30, 1980, revealed that John Jr. was on probation. Again, Jackie wrote to the school to try and mend matters. "We have had long discussions about his sophomore year," Jackie said. "I think he realizes it is time to make a major effort in organization—and I hope he will. He knows he is fortunate to be there and he loves the University. If he takes advantage of what it offers it can make a great difference in his life."
The documents, offering a poignant glimpse into the Kennedy family's personal and academic life, eventually sold online for a fixed price of $85,000.
JFK Jr.'s Full Entry Application 1979
A Few Days Before Jackie Kennedy Onassis Died In May 1994, She Wrote A Letter to John To Be Opened Only After Her Death
"I understand the pressure you'll forever have to endure as a Kennedy, even though we brought you into this world as an innocent," she wrote. "You, especially, have a place in history. No matter what course in life you choose, all I can ask is that you and Caroline continue to make me, the Kennedy family, and yourself proud."
JFK Jr Graduates from Brown University / June 5, 1975 - Caroline Kennedy Graduates from Concord Academy, Concord, Massachusetts
A Broken Promise “Was Responsible for JFK Jr.'s Untimely Death”
"Armed with this knowledge, Jackie was adamant that her son, John F. Kennedy Jr., should not entertain his fascination with the skies. In fact, according to Sam Kashner and Nancy Schoenberger's biography The Fabulous Bouvier Sisters: The Tragic and Glamorous Lives of Jackie and Lee, Jackie 'made John swear that he would not pursue his pilot's license.' On her deathbed, she tasked her partner, Maurice Tempelsman, and brother-in-law, Ted Kennedy, with holding her son to his promise. As we now know, that wasn't a promise John Jr. was able to keep. Five years after his mother's death in 1994, John, his wife Carolyn Bessette, and his sister-in-law Lauren plunged to their death on their way to Martha's Vineyard in a plane piloted by Kennedy."
— InStyle
RELATED . . .
Flashback — Alternative Family Support: A teenage suited and properly combed Robert Kennedy Jr. (16) leaving court at Barnstable, Mass., after a hearing on charges of possession of marijuana, Aug. 6, 1970. Accompanying him are his mother, Ethel, uncles Sargent Shriver and Sen. Edward Kennedy. His wrist bandaged from some kind of fall.
“HYANNIS PORT, Mass., Aug. 5—Robert F. Kennedy Jr., second oldest son of the late Senator, and Robert Sargent Shri ver 3d, son of the former United States Ambassador to France, are scheduled to appear in Juvenile Court tomorrow on charges of possessing marijuana.
A family spokesman confirmed late this afternoon reports that the 16‐year‐old cousins were served last night with warrants charging them with offenses July 10 at an undisclosed site.
In separate statements issued by Mrs. Ethel Kennedy and Sar gent Shriver, the parents said that they were “distressed” to learn of the charges, but that they would stand by their sons.
Through a spokesman, Mrs. Kennedy said:
“Naturally, I was distressed to learn last night that my son had been charged with posses sion of marijuana on the 10th of last Month.
Other Arraignments Due
“This is, of course, a matter for the authorities to decide. But Bobby is a fine boy, and we have always been proud of him. I will stand by him. My concern is also for my nephew and the families of the other young people.”
Mr. Shriver's statement was: “We are deeply distressed to learn that our son Bobby has been charged with the posses sion of marijuana last month in Hyannis. He has never been involved in any such situation before, and we trust he never will be again.
“If he has done anything wrong, we are sure he will make reparations in a manly and a courageous manner. We love him, and for all of his 161 years he has been a joy and a pride to us.
“We will help him in every way to re‐establish his sense of, responsibility for himself and for others, his dedication to high ideals, his personal self confidence and dignity.
“Young people today are being subjected to the most profound temptations and stresses. All young persons, especially at this moment our son and all other youngsters arrested with him, have our deepest sympathy.
“We ask for human under standing of our son's plight, and we pray that God will help him and all the other boys and girls involved.”
— New York Times Archives, Aug. 6, 1970
So thorough and moving! I love that you included actual letters. Thank God she died before he did. It would have been all too much to bear. Your post made me cry. Had he lived, I bet he would have made a profound difference in our political landscape. Congratulations on your son's graduation! Mazel Tov Jessica! Sabrinalabow.substack.com
Excellent article, as per usual. I admired Jacqueline’s elegance and never get tired of reading about her. But frankly, a couple of things were disappointing to learn. One, she admonished her son to become half the man his father was? I find that curious. It’s no secret that JFK couldn’t remain faithful for five minutes and put Jacqueline through all manner of heartbreak. That’s the man she hoped her son would become? The kind of husband? I hate to reduce the Kennedys to the level of the common man (/s), but they put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. Unfortunately, we did not get to see how JFK’s presidency would unfold throughout his first term and perhaps into a second — he could have been great — but as a man, I find little to emulate. And two, how old was John John in August of 1980 when his mother was writing letters to try to clean up after his irresponsibility? He was a college sophomore at that point, certainly old enough to man up and own his mistakes. Frankly, that was icky. And yes, I have children, both of whom have graduated from college, and I will tell you they handled their own stuff. I gave advice if it was sought, but they owned their actions and faced the consequences. I know Jacqueline -said- she didn’t want any special treatment for him, but her letters tell a totally different story.