By and large you really think this is true? Ask yourself where you actually see evidence of that? Is it only in some media spheres and marketing because of activism which can be forceful?
In reality outside of progressive social media and the things that it influences (like marketing), trans people have their rights challenged across our country, are often in equal if not in more danger of harm, and are more subject to discrimination and ostracism.
Ask yourself who is currently in charge of policy? Progressive social media? Please tell me what rights they are having challenged? Ones that don’t include entering female only spaces or the medicalization of children.
Progressive social media is not in charge of policy. We wouldn’t be losing abortion rights if that was the case and that’s an issue impacting far far more people and has far more support from both sides anyways.
In conservative states like Florida, they are passing anti-trans laws focused on bathrooms and gender affirming care.
The way you describe it makes it seem like you haven’t actually read what gender affirming care actual is and consists of. The medical community vastly supports gender affirmatively care and yet policy makers in conservative areas are not listening to that but basing policy on fear and religious beliefs. If you read about the kind of care that’s actually given, it’s not the extreme version conservative media and policy makers say it is.
So you are confirming that the only thing they stand to lose is access to female only spaces like bathrooms. Trying to belittle my knowledge on the topic won’t work. I know exactly what gender affirming care is and what it looks like. I well aware of Kaiser in California cutting breasts off of 13 year old girls. Prescribing pre pubescent children puberty blockers that inhibit their future ability to orgasm. Medical professionals so steeped in dogma that they manipulate parents into signing away care in fear of their child’s suicide. When did body dysmorphia become the deciding factor? Would we give anorexic teens gastric bypass? If you think that it’s only those in conservative circles that are concerned with this than you are wholly discounting the population of mothers waking up to a social contagion amongst young girls. Not to mention the persecution of lesbian women who won’t sleep with “women who have penises”. I’m going to end this conversation on my end there. ✌🏻
Based on what you said, you are not representing the full truth or the complexity of gender affirming care and you are only cherry picking rare occurrences that are not the norm.
Thank you for this. It's hard but it will take more people, particularly those in the public eye, to say what they know to be true. The damage already done to women and children is incalculable. Rowling has the courage of a lion. So do you.
Their capitulation was for naught. The entitled monsters who pushed them back into their meek personas are laughing at them for not sticking to their original thoughts on the matter. Macy, Judy, etc should take some notes from fearless RileyGaines. Never back down. Never, never, never EVER apologize.
Thank you for covering this. Sometimes it feels as if in order to be accepting and supportive of Trans rights, women have to disappear and I'm not comfortable with that at all. I am a Mom. A Woman. I've been assaulted, (and even if i hadnt been), I deserve and earned the right to safe spaces and to be called a woman and Mom. I have always supported LGBTQA2+ and always will but I also support myself, my daughter and women out there who don't want to be erased just to include. Can't we do both??? There has to be a middle ground here. I have supported Rowling from the beginning because she wasn't saying Trans folks shouldn't have rights or support but that women also need safe places and a place in society. This article was perfect. Thank you for covering this.
This comment is perfect too! Thank you for articulating everything I’m feeling. Have also been conflicted around those safe places I’ve relied on, changing, but it feels almost impossible to voice this to anyone anymore. Thank you Jessica for this article and conversation!! The weight on my chest feels lighter.
Bravo! I 100% agree with your article, and the perspectives of Rowling and even Midler, with whom I usually never agree. The trans movement has completely marginalized women and all those feminists out there who are now fully in support of it are total hypocrites! I am not a "birthing person," I am a mom who labored for dozens of hours to give birth to my amazing SON and DAUGHTER and would do it all over again in a NY minute. Trans women (biological men) cannot and will not ever be able to do that and anyone who says they can is not "following the science."
Gender identity zeal is a cult. It’s not science. Stonewall etc did a great job in ensuring equality between sexual preference, and (in the UK) the equality act did a great job of ensuring individuals cannot be marginalised based on their protected characteristics. The battle was won but Stonewall didn’t want to stop and reflect on a huge and worthy success; they wanted more funding, so the fight was extended to include trans rights - a tiny proportion of a proportion. Big pharma LOVES it - can you imagine. You turn a healthy 15 year old into a lifelong patient! All those hormones. All those surgeries. All those side effects. And for what - so someone “feels” like another gender. What does that even mean. The only unifying thing between any two given women are the biological realities. The brain is plastic and there are no discernible differences between the sexes.
But then it went further and further. Self ID is a danger to women and children. Puberty blockers harm children. Californian research: 80-90% of transitioners ultimately detransition. Affected children generally have a number of other mental health problems.
Affirmation is not care, it’s abuse. An anorexic isn’t affirmed, gastric surgery isn’t offered.
There's always a much bigger agenda being played out as the reason for our world being turned upside down and inside out. Kids can't buy cigarettes, alcohol, drive or vote, but a ten-yr-old boy says "I think I'm really a girl" and within months is irreversibly mutilated.
There's a much bigger agenda involving children being played out and it started with CrookedHillary's "It Takes A Village," which took the parents out of the equation. And everyone really felt good about that village, 'cause even people you don't know will take care of your kids in that village. Look how that turned out! Hillary took very good care of all the little children in Haitian villages!
The sick ghoul and close friend-of-still-living-Epstein Bill Gates wants children to be called "sexual beings" and claims that children are “born sexual” and lobbies for children under 10 years of age to be taught about “commercial sex work.” Can someone please find a much bigger pie and throw it in Gates' face!?!?
There's few different things going on but transgenderism essentially prepares the legal and cultural landscape for transhumanism ... I know it sounds batshit crazy, but seriously that's what this is all about.
I recently got fired from my spa where I worked 9 years. I was the most booked, most requested and respected. A 27 year old gay male on his second day was having a conversation with me and he was saying how “he respected everyone’s religion,sex, and gender” and I agreed with him. I said how one of my longest and best friends is gay and we love each other, we eat together and hang out together but she knows that if she ever got married I wouldn’t go to the wedding because of what I believe biblically and morally. Which isn’t everyone’s belief and that’s fine and we both are good on it. But the man went to my bosses and told them that he felt unsafe and he cried in the bathroom... it worked out in the end but honestly I felt like I was reading a viral tweet about someone else when it happened. All these things make me not want to back down about what I believe morally. If we keep backing down everyone will keep towing the line. I have no hatred for anyone just different views that aren’t popular...
Right and if we don’t listen or don’t talk about it then the culture gets further and further into their own bubbles and thoughts. I love having conversations about why I think the way I do. Love a good debate too
And THANK YOU for using your platform for good. Was thinking this for the KK ruined my life post as well. You wouldn’t have to say these things, but you’re saying them
OMG yes. This is a huge reason why I’ve stuck with Jessica for as long as I have. I am not always interested in everything she posts about, but whatever she covers, it’s with integrity.
How can a grown person cry about that? People need to stop kowtowing to these little fringe groups! Since when did their off the wall/edgy/controversial lifestyles/ decisions and twisted thoughts become the norm that the majority has to bend over backwards to accommodate?
Enough already! And this rant is coming from a gay white female- I’m so very sick of all of this. So disheartening. Nobody can speak normally to anyone without a risk of “offending someone “ ridiculous. Grow up. All this pandering to the fringe and their alleged victimization and whining and throwing tantrums! Ugh. They love to call attention to themselves so that they get attacked then they can complain about it
It’s literally why I won’t back down. I don’t need to care or being involved or affirm anyone’s anything. That’s not my job. If you have to be affirmed in something thats something wrong with you. I know I’m needy and I need to be affirmed in things and I know it’s unhealthy. Affirmation isn’t love. Chloe cole (detransitioner) just said that
Exactly. I know I’m in a minority group and keep my opinions and orientation to myself 99% of the time. im not expecting the world to revolve around me. Sometimes when I see what’s going on around the planet I am just happy that I am in a safe place on the planet. I think these people that are going into the trans world have mental health issues and hopefully those are fully evaluated for a long time before any decisions are made. People that are allowing children to do this are really sick in the head my opinion . But whatever I’ve only got 30 more years on the planet… And I don’t intend to spend it worrying about that stuff.
My opinion, as well! When it came out early on that there should be no gender ascribed on a baby's birth cert, I was appalled We, humans, that is, are born one of two genders: Male or Female. PERIOD! We can't ID as rabbits or woolly mammoths for God's sake any more than we can as a male or female and be 100% sure to the extent we should allow our children to decide their own gender-based futures! WHY would we decide a 14 yr old child IS knowledgeable enough (never mind mature & capable of making such a life-altering, irreversible decision) as to how they identify strongly enough so they destroy breast tissue & start hormone therapy? I BELIEVE people are born knowing (but not being totally aware of the meaning, necessarily - I DO NOT BELIEVE THEY BECOME later on is my point) they're queer but as far as committing to actual life-altering surgeries, hormones, etc. as a youth? No. I won't ascribe to that policy EVER. I've raised 4 kids. I had one who was VERY in touch with his feminine side BUT was NOT queer. Just VERY open-minded. And he agrees with what I'm saying. I am SO tired of the people who get their feelings hurt over the most ridiculous things! Women (misandrists, apparently) are on a new campaign to go into gyms (just one example) dressed in bulky sweats & walk around until they see the perfect victim(s) & it may very well be a bored grandpa who is just there sitting on a bench enjoying being around others BUT he happens to glance up as said woman begins to disrobe (i.e. removing the bulky sweats to uncover tight leggings & sports bra or less) & upon seeing the man glance at her, she begins to scream she's being assaulted. No, I'm NOT joking! There are YT channels who normally utilize their streaming time to JUST showing new/different workout routines now warning of this as it is apparently rampant. I've warned BOTH my boys one of whom has encountered this multiple times (who are grown men, now) to be VERY careful of this as the human eye, of course, looks to movement regardless what that movement is AND to think that a woman (or a man)disrobing would NOT cause people to look is a pure absurdity! But they're doing this intentionally! This is somewhat the female version of an Andrew Tate, in my opinion. It's sick & I pray doesn't ever rise to the level of someone being charged! That's their hope, I believe! We're in a strange society these days (I think) & I'm in TOTAL agreement with the woman who stated she'll NEVER change her feelings that go against her sense of morality. Exactly how I feel & that we have politicians who are SO outspoken on issues we KNOW (as we've seen them caught in situation(s) that completely abut what it is they're preaching on their podiums!) they don't truly believe but are using to gain attention --- I mostly keep my head down but this was one place I felt, or rather I chose to speak up.
Because it works. Not only for fringe groups. I've read that in 4chan incels are turning femme, with guides and all. I believe this is a manifestation of lack of power, in society these individuals feel the most despised, invisible, no female attention, no social status/sympathy. To us it might be an extreme reaction to an momentary situation but from their perspective it's all that exists.
And on another note, who doesn't like to win oneself approval with a bit of flexing.
this is 100000% true ... the incel to transbian (trans "lesbian") pipeline is a very real and growing phenomena. Unfortunately for them (and the rest of us), when they realize their "transition" in no way improved their prospects they get even more radicalized.
Thank you for introducing me to this podcast. I have never read a Harry Potter book, never seen an HP movie, never had any opinions about JK Rowling whatsoever, nor the ‘scandal’ that plagued her. I had heard she had made statements deemed ‘transphobic’ but just didn’t do any sort of deep, or even shallow, dive to find out about them.
However, I listened to this podcast and now have the utmost respect and admiration for this badass woman. There is such a shortage of people who go against the masses and are willing to speak up for what is right, despite the personal toll it might take on their own lives.
So much respect for her. I have since bought my first Harry Potter book.
This does go deeper. We as a society are accepting that body mutilation is not a problem. I’m sorry to say this but if people are willing to castrate themselves in order to be accepted or feel whole then there has to be underlying mental issues. It’s another form of body dysmorphia. This is no different to an eating disorder for someone with anorexia starving themselves because they don’t like the way they look. But as a society we don’t accept that. It’s a mental health issue. But what I really can’t handle is children being fed this rubbish. It’s absolutely mortifying. We don’t see in the press articles about people who regret their choice to transition, and there are many many out there. People need to be happy with the skin they are in, and whether you are male or female shouldn’t matter. What will it actually change?
I've been fascinated by this saga since it started for this reason. I've read her essay a few times now and each time I think, "you know what, she kind of has a point there", followed immediately by "you know what, never mind I take that back". Rinse and repeat. I love delving into the grey in life and this article was a great analysis for me, thank you.
For me, what it boils down to is the (JK's) viewpoint that being more inclusive of trans and non-binary folks is detrimental and less inclusive to women. Of course there are extremists in any groups but I just don't see how anyone advocating trans rights is saying this. Terms like 'people who menstruate' or 'people who give birth' are umbrella terms that INCLUDE the use of the word women, not exclude it. It's like saying don't call me a person, call me a woman. Both are true, the latter is a more specific version of the former. If someone complimented my shoes, I wouldn't correct them and say they're sandals. Both are correct! Same with people who menstruate and women. When speaking collectively, the former is more inclusive and accurate to encompass all people who menstruate, but you are still able to apply whatever label is most accurate to you when referring to an individual. Maybe I'm oversimplifying it here but it just seems like JK and others who agree with her are crying erasure totally unnecessarily. Would happily welcome opinions on this if I'm being too simplistic
Imagine changing a word that encapsulates your very identity and being in order to include less than 1%. If gender is fluid and we are all more similar than different why do people still feel like things aren’t an even playing field? Why are pronouns so important to trans people? Is there any other group of people in the world where it is demanded of them to accept change immediately without discussion or debate, to use the desired pronouns, to send their kids off to school where they are literally being bombarded with propaganda (they are.) have you ever considered that there are women who do not harass trans people; do not attend anti trans marches, do not sign anti trans petitions; do not troll trans or even follow trans people online , do not go around hating on anyone living their life, but simply aren’t willing to allow biological males who have gone through puberty and a male experience to enter their world as an equal woman no questions asked? If Hilaria Baldwin can be ripped to shreds for adopting a Spanish accent and being cagey about her background by ‘pretending’ to be Spanish, why would a man in a dress be immediately accepted as a woman?
This is an issue I have too lpd. If gender is fluid why is there a fixation on the words that describe gender. We should all just be fine being called whatever bc if gender is fluid then the words that describe gender are kind of meaningless. But the fact is, for whatever reason, labels matter. I’ve seen lots of what do you care what anyone calls you directed toward women. And lots of “why do you care?” And it’s like, well, we care for the same reasons trans people seem to care. But there’s this idea, and someone said it verbatim in the comments here, that “cis women owe it to trans women...” And honestly that’s the best, most boiled down, description of the current sentiment.
The notion that we are indebted to trans women is VERY different from we all need to just accept people for what they are.
And yeah, I do care what I’m called. “Person with period” isn’t a thing I want to be called.
Also I’m 45. When I stop menstruating in a few years, what do I get to be called then? Nothing? Women of a certain age have always been kinda invisible anyway and I guess there won’t be any words left to describe them at all at some point.
Yes, we’re not cows (sorry cows) It’s dehumanizing being reduced to our biological functions. It’s like they got together and brainstormed how to make the healthcare setting experience even worse.
I guess people who menstruate become people with bone density loss. Sounds great
Also just to add, I know there's way more to her argument than just the use of terms, it's just that the tweet that started this whole thing off was on this subject. I'm not reducing the whole conversation to just this one point but digging a bit deeper on this area
I'm a cis woman and I despise her for her recent hard right turn. I've also been assaulted by men.
The problem is men and misogyny. Not trans women. They are not the ones causing these issues. Using them as a cover to deal with issues that are caused by men is gross and doesn't fix it.
I'm not seeing any hard right turn. She has always pushed for the underdog, in particular, women. We always get the short end of the stick and that's not right. I'm simply not seeing any change in her message.
I don't see her attacking trans women, to be honest. I see a recognition that someone who goes through a significant body realignment and cultural change to be accepted as a woman is displaying their own brand of courage and solidarity.
Her point is that if we allow men who identify as woman without any commitment or change whatsoever to enter women-only spaces such as changerooms and public toilets, then we are setting ourselves up for attack and mistreatment.
And there *are* men who would do that. Lying, creepy, misogynistic bastards. The world is crawling with them.
So you agree… the problem is with men, not trans women.
People who would pretend to be trans to attack a woman are horrible both because of the violence and because they would use a marginalized group for cover. That doesn’t mean they should be grouped with trans women.
Jk Rowling is attacking trans women by excluding them. See my comment below for how that’s a hard right.
Gender roles and norms are changing. Deal with it. It’s been happening for centuries, and each major change brings a flurry of panic.
I don't think you read my comment. If you did, it seems like you only saw your own words. You obviously haven't been listening to JKR either. I'm not sure how you can claim any right to superior knowledge based on this sort of behaviour.
Perhaps you should listen to the podcast, open your eyes and ears a little wider?
I’m actually really saddened to read the comments being outwardly transphobic saying trans women “are” men and the author of this post not realizing that this entire article is giving a foundation for this terf-y logic. The leap from being a survivor of domestic violence to then putting blame on trans women and inciting panic about trans women in women only spaces is hard to understand because there is no connection. The amount of cis men inciting violence on us every single day and yet trans women are now being villianized for the behaviour of cis men? Sounds like the opposite of feminism to me where WOMEN get blamed for violence enacted by cis men. Disgusting really.
Not sure how you arrive at such a view unless you are claiming that all trans women share the same characteristics which to my mind at least is patently ridiculous. You seem to be drawing a line between women and trans women that puts you in a place most people call the Land of Irony.
I have never been assaulted, but that didn’t change the fact that when I was in the women’s bathroom at the gym today alone, located down a long hallway and out of earshot, sitting in my stall tending to my menstruation situation, I saw feet that clearly belonged to a man walk past my stall and I froze in fear. I finished as quickly as possible and left before this man could exit his stall. When I left the bathroom and felt safe among other gym-goers, I waited nearby to see this person exit so I could report him to staff. Alas, he was wearing lipstick and a sports bra, so I would have been called a bigot or transphobe if I had reported a man in the women’s locker room. At this point in culture, I’m genuinely curious as to how the question would be answered by some (by you), why do women have their own bathrooms separate from men? Why do they have their own sports teams? Own prison facilities? What’s the point of even having safe spaces for women anymore?
……. You were being a bigot and a trans phobe. This person did nothing to actually bother you except pass a stall that you were in, presumably to use the bathroom in peace, and you freaked out over large feet? Yeah, you’re the creepy weirdo in this situation.
What are you going to do, ask someone to pull down their pants? Check their blood work? If you’re afraid of cis men sneaking into the women’s room, I have news for you…. That’s an issue to take up with cis men, not trans women.
I am a cis woman and I’m tall and not very curvy, and I have been mistaken for a dude when my hair is covered. I’m terrified that somebody like you is going to assume I’m trans and confront me. I’m not about to pull down my pants or show my medical records to some weird freak in a bathroom who is scared of tall women. I’m also scared on behalf of trans women who are just trying to mind their own business who may be hurt, confronted, embarrassed, or even killed because of someone like you panicking when they’re not doing anything to you.
“…or even killed” wow. That escalated quickly. Every animal on earth has a sex recognition skill. It’s a primary instinct necessary for survival. So yes, when I saw a man’s feet, noticed the size, shape, gait, it wasn’t hard to immediately determine it was a man. Despite his costume or caricature, he didn’t resemble a female in the least. What you are asking is for people to ignore their instincts. Don’t even get me started on what a safeguarding failure it is to our children when we demand they purposefully misgender what they know instinctively to be incorrect. There was a large man, at least 6’4”, in a woman’s safe space. I didn’t need a DNA test or ask to check his genitals (although they were apparent through his leggings anyway) in order to know that a man had entered a space designated specifically for women. But I’m just supposed to be able to take someone *at their word* that they are something that they are so obviously not. Lipstick and a sports bra does *not* a woman make. I see you ignored my questions about why these safe spaces even exist anymore - I am curious how you would try to make sense of that.
Exactly. Why are we being asked to ignore our natural instincts to not hurt people's feelings? It's ridiculous and a perfect breeding ground for bad actors. Everyone should read 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker. Don't ignore those natural instincts. That's when we get in trouble. Didn't want to hurt feelings, so I put myself in a dangerous position.
Yes! I have referenced Gavin De Becker's Gift of Fear for years, and it's only even more relevant in 2023 with males wanting to access our spaces. Instincts exist for a reason, so LISTEN. Everyone should read that book. Remember when he said (I'm paraphrasing) "A deer would not get in a steel cage with a predator. So don't get into an elevator with a man who gives you the creeps ". Yep, same thing. Don't stay in a changeroom or bathroom when your instincts tell you GET OUT.
I will NOT disobey my perfectly honed evolutionary skills to pander to a gender ideology cult mentality (many of whom are mentally ill and you wouldn't want to make eye contact with them in the street).
Humans are still animals. I will not force-logic myself out of danger signals. I will listen to my natural instincts, thank you very much.
Feelings are normal and natural, yes. It’s okay to fear what seems new. But maybe we can not stay dwelling in the fears. As you know as intelligent humans there’s also another lever of thinking that we use to assuage irrational fears. It comes from understanding the where the fear comes from and whether it actually matches reality. You probably do it all the time with other instinctual fears. Fearing trans women in bathrooms is an irrational fear and it can be a harmful one. This is what trans activists are trying to say. There’s nothing rational to fear about being more inclusive of trans people.
I am listening to your side of things and I understand it. What do you understand of the trans acceptance side of things? What have you learned listening to trans people (not just passionate activists)?
You gave NO indication that you were under any threat, just that you were scared of somebody for no god damn reason. There's no reason to acknowledge your question because you were never in danger. You just freaked out because you're afraid of trans women who are just trying to exist. Doesn't matter if you disagree. I'd feel more unsafe around you, because I'm tall and have been mistaken for a dude (which is wild, because I have visible boobs and long hair, but whatever). I'm terrified that people like you are going to push for mandatory genital exams for people to prove their sex matches their clothes based on arbitrary designations. This person did nothing to you. They didn't even talk to you. You just apparently stared at their crotch and had a panic attack, while they probably didn't even notice you.
You're a transphobe. Disgusting. I wish we could unclaim you as a woman.
You seem to have been made so angry by what Jill described and I’m sorry for that, because anger is such a hateful emotion. But surely it’s important to realise that, essentially, Jill had a visceral reaction of fear because of an innate, biological, recognition of a male person being close to her at a vulnerable moment for her. If it’s a visceral reaction, and an emotional one, is it her fault? None of us can control what our natural instinctive reactions are, only our behaviours. We can’t control what emotions pop up, we can only control how we handle those emotions. Maybe it’s an idea to examine why this has touched such a nerve for you? As much as I’m sure you’re totally right and Jill was in no danger - you can’t say this unequivocally, because none of us know if she was or wasn’t - we weren’t there. It’s these aggressive replies such as yours, in response to someone just speaking about their own emotions that this whole debate is about. To wish that “we” could unclaim Jill as a woman is such a violent thing to say. The irony is that your attempt to negate her right to exist as a woman, is exactly the same as some fascist doing the same to someone who is trans. After everything, If she’s a disgusting transphobe, you’ve just equally proven yourself to be a good old fashioned misogynist.
Having a man in women’s safe spaces *is* a threat. And now that you have proven that you cannot answer what the point is of having safe spaces for women (and likely cannot coherently answer what a woman even is), you can stop responding and liking your own comments. You are a [supposed] woman (anybody can claim that now apparently, according to you) that believes it’s bigotry for women to speak about their lived experience of being an *actual* woman. And you wish you could remove my womanhood, because now “womanhood” is now a category that can be earned somehow. Lol. That’s enough internet for me today…
Erm, you are projecting your own issues here. To have concerns about a man wearing lipstick and a sports bra being in the women’s bathroom is not unreasonable and NOT transphobic. This is a very difficult line for EVERYONE involved. Jill removed herself from the situation she clearly did not want to hurt or harm this person. Neither did she report her concerns for fear of being labelled, cancelled or banned from the gym herself. Once again the little woman keeps her head down and the man gets exactly what he desires. This is a huge conversation and we clearly do not have any straight forward answers, but these views, the views of many women, are valid and important.
I’m also curious if there is any way to know definitively if this man who entered the locker room yesterday at my gym was indeed a trans woman or a predatory cis man? If you’re so certain there is a huge difference, how are women, who find themselves alone with them in a bathroom or other safe space, supposed to know?
Can you explain what you mean by ‘hard right turn’? Her views on women’s rights, healthcare, abortion, government etc are very much classed as left wing.
Are you suggesting wanting single sex spaces is ‘right wing’? Or wanting diligence in medical treatment offered to minors?
Hard right? to state that sex is real and that women have to right yo single sex spaces? I beg of you to stop saying everything you disagree with is "far right". It's just ridiculous and you wont win any arguments that way.
And to many people trans women abd men are one and the same. You don't magically lose your maleness by declaring yourself to be a woman.
I’m not saying everything I disagree with is “far right”. Liberals do as much damage as conservatives, but they pretend to be on our side. JK Rowling worked with and praised Matt Walsh for his documentary. He is far right, and he calls himself a “Theocratic Fascist” unironically.
The many people who equate cis men and trans women are flat out wrong and incapable of nuance, and clearly don’t understand the history of gender expression in western civilization.
“Conservative” means “averse to change or innovation and holding traditional values.” Historically, the conservative/traditionalist view is that gender roles should not change. Traditionalist values include: women not being allowed to vote, work, choose whether or not to get married and reproduce, or even choose whether or not they can wear pants. Social conservatives have tried to block each one of those norms from changing, and it is socially conservative to be anti trans. You’re free to feel that way, but that is objectively a socially conservative view.
Rowling has chosen to team up with and praise a man who openly spews exterminationist rhetoric, openly says women and children should be subservient to men, says “I violate my kids consent all the time” regarding showing affection to children, supports arranged marriages, thinks women should stay in abusive marriages (because tradition is more important than mental health, apparently), and thinks that friendships between men and women can’t exist because he believes there will always be sexual undertones. So yeah, praising him was a “hard right”. She may “not share all the same views”, but she has shown him more deference than she has shown toward actual trans people. And before you say I took his views out of context, I listen to his show regularly, and it’s far worse than the paraphrasing even shows.
I hate to keep weighing in on this, but just bc someone happens to agree with a point made by someone who is “right wing” that doesn’t make them right wing as well. Agreeing with someone on a certain point doesn’t mean they’re “teaming up” with them.
I’m sorry but I really balk at this bc guilty by association mentality was a big trend in my area during Covid. Anyone who spoke out against prolonged school closures was maligned as right wing or, worse, trump supporters lol
I listen to him fairly regularly and while I don't agree with him all the time, your characterization of him is one not based on actual knowledge, but what others have said about him. He does not espouse even half of what you just accused him of.
The problem is men and misogyny, and trans women have been assaulting women. Certainly not all of them, but enough of them have, its just not safe to have a "self identified female" who's a biological man, in our spaces. It opens the door to very bad scenarios. Even disagreeing with them, trans "women" have been assualting women who just want to speak. Why do they threaten to rape and kill "terfs"? They ARE misogynist. And dangerous to us. All a man has to do is say "I feel like a woman" and he gets access to our safe spaces. No hormones, no surgery, nothing, he just "feels" like it. I don't see how you don't see the danger in this. Its already a problem. Women have been raped by men housed in our prisons. It's just too bad for trans people. They don't get to erase us and our spaces.
First of all there's no such thing as "cis" women, that's a slur. There's only women. And most women are not so much bigger than me as to have an advantage. And last time I checked, women don't rape us, because they don't have penises. But trans "women" mostly do, and have, raped women, in our safe spaces. And since the floodgates are only recently being opened, this is only going to increase. Maybe you should look at the mugshots of men in dresses who attacked us. It's one thing to make a man go through years of vetting and social and medical transition before they're allowed in our bathrooms and prison (I still don't agree with that either, but at least it weeds out the psychos). Now we have men who can simply say they feel like a woman, put on some lipstick and a dress (as if thats what defines womanhood), and enter our spaces, where not only women, but little girls are. We are more vulnerable than biological men. In general, sure there are exceptions, but this all boils down to protecting women and girls. Here's a great podcast where you can learn about reality
I agree wholeheartedly With your article and the comments above . As women we need to be more aware of what damage is being done here to our spaces, sports , and language used to describe our lived experiences . Have you also noticed the same is not being asked of men ?
Further than that , we can not stand by and allow children to be medicalised before they have had a chance to experience the world and see how they fit in to their own space . I really do believe we are witnessing a social contagion , I have worked for children’s services for over 20 years and in that time had only ever come across one child who said they wanted to be a different gender. I had come across many with gender dysphoria , mainly girls, and they were in therapy receiving support to help them to accept themselves and their bodies . But in the last 3 years I have come across dozens of children wanting to change their genders . What is the shift among adolescents, where is it all coming from ? Surely those are the questioning we need to be asking and exploring further? Shutting down the conversations and silencing those who don’t go along with the narrative will be very damaging in the long run . It’s very authoritarian
I appreciate that you mentioned sports. I have kids who are competitive swimmers. My oldest competed at a national level. I know what the inside of that sport looks like, what those competition tech swimsuits are like. It takes 3 people to put one on. Athletes are naked in the locker rooms. When the controversy over Lia Thomas happened last year, most of it was about Thomas smashing records and beating competitors by unbelievable margins. No one was really talking about the shared space of the locker rooms, athletes having to help one another into their tech suits, etc. This aspect is one that I just don’t think had even been considered in the coverage. Anyway that’s my two cents.
Did you also know that there are bills being introduced in various states that will allow a male prison inmate to transfer to the women's prison simply because he says he's a woman? No surgery, no nothing. Just because he says
Like Barbie Kardashian a fully intact male jailed in a women's prison in Ireland. Was jailed because he threatened to rape & kill his mother and tried to choke a female social worker..
Yes, my sister has been following that for a while and sometimes sends me updates. Certainly some of the individuals are legitimately trans. Some are taking advantage though, and that’s scary.
I live in a Cornish town by the sea called Falmouth , on one of its beaches there are both male and separate female toilets probably built in the 1940s , a couple of years ago they closed the male toilets and now everyone uses the female toilets , the toilets are not closed in , it’s so horrible to use them now. It used to be a safe space to change in or out of swimming outfits , children come of the beach to use them , it terrifies me that a young teenager on her period has to go into these toilets with men coming in and out, with maybe a man in the next cubicle .
As always, incredibly well thought out. When JK first made her statements, I could relate. As a woman, who has experienced both childhood sexual abuse and later again as an adult, I fully understood where she was coming from and was disheartened at the intensity of hate and misinterpretation that followed her. It sent the message that women had best be silent about their abuse and the life long effect of their traumas unless they were ready for the hate and animosity that came after. Two things can exist, one can support peoples right to be who they are and live as they are and also be fearful about bad people taking advantage of new rules intending to be inclusive of trans people. Being fearful of shitty people (of any gender/ identity) taking advantage of easier access to their victims does not mean I think trans people are bad.
You stated this so well. I was sexually assaulted as a child so it’s just not black and white for me either. I would never want to appear hateful... but I also want protection for myself, my daughter, all women.
I wholeheartedly concur. I’m an English teacher in the UK & three years ago I was set upon by my colleagues when I suggested Rowling’s name for one of our classes (we were re-naming them after famous writers). They actually snorted in derision and talked about her being ‘anti-trans’; only to then admit when I pressed them further that they hadn’t actually read her statement yet. Both younger members of the Dept; both women; both suggesting I wasn’t being enlightened & didn’t understand the trauma of trans people. And yet it was somehow OK to name a class ‘Pinter’ after the appallingly rude & misogynistic playwright (of whom I had personal experience, having met him). I’m still very angry about what I experienced as the dangerous and frankly ignorant willingness to condemn someone without even bothering to read her!!!!!!! And I was willing to resign rather than accept the principle that open debate is ‘phobic’ . From English teachers!!!! J k Rowling is my hero; and you’ve just joined her!!! 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
this was a fascinating comment! You touched on a major point I was hoping to highlight - how so much energy dedicated to canceling her comes from people who have not taken the time to READ her statements in full. This I think is so dangerous, the spoon-fed outrage so many depend on these days. Know what you are standing up or in rejection of. Don't count on manipulated edits to decide for you.
Thank you 🙏 so much - means a whole lot to me! It felt so awful at the time to be ‘sidelined’ as some kind of bigot by people who hadn’t even informed themselves of the basic facts. It feels so good now to see voices as intelligent and influential as yours questioning this almost fanatical orthodoxy. And it’s precisely because of your independence that you’re able to do this. A brave and brilliant move. Power to independent women and the freedom of debate!
Apr 18, 2023·edited Apr 18, 2023Liked by Jessica Reed Kraus
I am not an expert, but it does seem that the trans movement is taking more from women than men. Maybe I am just unaware, but are men having trans men dominate in their sports? Has a trans man been named "man of the year" like a trans woman was? Are trans men trying to get in male prisons? Do men feel uncomfortable when trans men are in their locker rooms? No. Why? Women are the easy targets and the reality is that there are differences in the sexes. I think we as a society have to make room for these differences and give space to them when necessary. JK Rowling is simply stating the obvious: being a natural born woman IS different than being a natural born man; physically, bodily and emotionally. By ignoring these obvious differences, the reality is that women will be the ones to pay.
I wonder how much of it has to do with women being more exclusionary than men perhaps when it comes to gender identity? Do men care as much that trans men exist in the same gendered spaces? I dunno either.
If women have bonded together as a result of being discriminated against historically then it makes sense that there’s a sense of protection over that. But what I don’t understand is why that bonding of gender identity can’t include trans women who have also experienced gender discrimination and identify as women. Sure the nature of the discrimination might be different but they are still women so why not include them as women? I guess I don’t understand seeing trans women as part of the patriarchy because of their experiences with discrimination due to their gender identity. And I don’t understand the perceived threat towards womanhood because descriptive words becoming more inclusive.
Thank you for sharing this. I listened to the podcast and thought how measured it was. I’m a lefty and so are most of my friendship group, my sister is a lesbian and I consider myself a gay ally. We can’t believe what my gay sisters are currently enduring and don’t even get me started on what is happening to the gay kids. It’s so important for us to all keep calmly talking common sense.
To clarify, do you mean that lesbians are being called trans-phobic on a regular basis, and gay young women are sliding in to thinking they are trans? That’s what I see very clearly.
Recently there’s been a spate of retailers sending out messages that if you’d rather not receive Mother’s Day promotional emails, you can pause/opt out of just those. This feels weird/off to me, and NOT because of the many reasons Mother’s Day is conflicted and sensitive for many people. But it seems to me like another instance in which motherhood is acceptable to be eliminated. It’s not like you can pause/opt out of Black Friday advertising because thanksgiving is troublesome and offensive to many people, or Christmas advertising because either Christianity OR the commercialization of the religious holiday is offensive to some, etc. Again, I totally get why Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of people, but the fact that is the ONE holiday that can be paused/ignored is weird to me and feels “off”. Part of being ALIVE is that we all have a mother, even if that relationship is hard or broken or nonexistent or not one we personally celebrate. It’s still a reality.
I kind of got interrupted on my train of thought, but I think I was trying to say that it seems odd that it’s the holiday relating to women and motherhood that can be canceled (and I want to reiterate, I understand why people DO have sensitivity on this subject), but not the slew of other holidays that also have troubling/offensive/sensitive connotations.
Hi Grace - this is the first year that many retailers have provided an opt out, and I fully expect they will do the same for Father's Day, which in Australia is later in the year.
I for one was relieved and thought it considerate. Both of my parents are dead, I don't enjoy the saturation advertising around these days, which are merely a commercial exercise anyway.
I thought that this initiative might also be a nod to the millions of same sex families in the world, many of whom are headed by male parents.
I have long thought there should be - if people insist - on a 'parent's day' and get rid of the whole mother's and father's days.
I am and will always be on the side of NOT negating and diminishing girls and women, regardless of who or why. Women have fought for hundreds of years to be afforded the same rights and dignity as anyone else (and make up 51% of the population), but I don't think the action by retailers had that angle in mind. (And they haven't cancelled the day or the marketing, only allowing their mail lists to opt out of advertising.)
Perhaps this year they'll allow people to opt out of Xmas advertising? Let's wait and see!
Also as I said, I have not criticism of the reasons why a person may desire to opt out. I just found it suspect that Mother’s Day was the only opt out offered. (And maybe that will be expanded, and if so, like I said, I’ll stand corrected.)
My husband mentioned Valentines Day last night when we were talking about this. A LOT of people are sensitive about Valentines Day. I guess we’ll see what happens with Father’s Day. My instinct is they won’t offer an opt out for it because despite the fact that almost everyone has at least some kind of father wound, we don’t think of it as a shopping holiday.
Retailers still amp up the advertising for the dad's. If they're being sensitive about same sex and diverse families, as well as people's personal circumstances, then those opt outs should be coming.
Valentine's is such a rubbish commercial day, it should be abolished for that reason alone. It's probably not good for the wellbeing of many people, it's not designed to make anyone feel good.
The best part of the podcast was when JK Rowling asked the question - at what point do the feelings of trans women supersede the feelings of women?
I think it’s already happened
That's why we need to get LOUD and angry.
By and large you really think this is true? Ask yourself where you actually see evidence of that? Is it only in some media spheres and marketing because of activism which can be forceful?
In reality outside of progressive social media and the things that it influences (like marketing), trans people have their rights challenged across our country, are often in equal if not in more danger of harm, and are more subject to discrimination and ostracism.
Ask yourself who is currently in charge of policy? Progressive social media? Please tell me what rights they are having challenged? Ones that don’t include entering female only spaces or the medicalization of children.
Progressive social media is not in charge of policy. We wouldn’t be losing abortion rights if that was the case and that’s an issue impacting far far more people and has far more support from both sides anyways.
In conservative states like Florida, they are passing anti-trans laws focused on bathrooms and gender affirming care.
The way you describe it makes it seem like you haven’t actually read what gender affirming care actual is and consists of. The medical community vastly supports gender affirmatively care and yet policy makers in conservative areas are not listening to that but basing policy on fear and religious beliefs. If you read about the kind of care that’s actually given, it’s not the extreme version conservative media and policy makers say it is.
So you are confirming that the only thing they stand to lose is access to female only spaces like bathrooms. Trying to belittle my knowledge on the topic won’t work. I know exactly what gender affirming care is and what it looks like. I well aware of Kaiser in California cutting breasts off of 13 year old girls. Prescribing pre pubescent children puberty blockers that inhibit their future ability to orgasm. Medical professionals so steeped in dogma that they manipulate parents into signing away care in fear of their child’s suicide. When did body dysmorphia become the deciding factor? Would we give anorexic teens gastric bypass? If you think that it’s only those in conservative circles that are concerned with this than you are wholly discounting the population of mothers waking up to a social contagion amongst young girls. Not to mention the persecution of lesbian women who won’t sleep with “women who have penises”. I’m going to end this conversation on my end there. ✌🏻
Based on what you said, you are not representing the full truth or the complexity of gender affirming care and you are only cherry picking rare occurrences that are not the norm.
Here’s some more accurate and comprehensive info: https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/what-gender-affirming-care-your-questions-answered
The attacks on JK Rowling are not warranted . Would be wonderful to hear her with Germaine Greer .
Intuition is very reliable.
Thank you for this. It's hard but it will take more people, particularly those in the public eye, to say what they know to be true. The damage already done to women and children is incalculable. Rowling has the courage of a lion. So do you.
It's beyond sad to see people like Macy Gray, Judy Blume etc bullied into capitulation
Their capitulation was for naught. The entitled monsters who pushed them back into their meek personas are laughing at them for not sticking to their original thoughts on the matter. Macy, Judy, etc should take some notes from fearless RileyGaines. Never back down. Never, never, never EVER apologize.
I agree. There are very few people who will risk everything they have worked for to speak the truth. I so admire those who have.
100%
I think that calling people meek in this narrative is playing into the very system I suspect that you are against.
It’s complicated. A lot of people are still learning and arranging their opinions based on new information all the time
100%!!
Thank you for covering this. Sometimes it feels as if in order to be accepting and supportive of Trans rights, women have to disappear and I'm not comfortable with that at all. I am a Mom. A Woman. I've been assaulted, (and even if i hadnt been), I deserve and earned the right to safe spaces and to be called a woman and Mom. I have always supported LGBTQA2+ and always will but I also support myself, my daughter and women out there who don't want to be erased just to include. Can't we do both??? There has to be a middle ground here. I have supported Rowling from the beginning because she wasn't saying Trans folks shouldn't have rights or support but that women also need safe places and a place in society. This article was perfect. Thank you for covering this.
thank you for sharing!
This comment is perfect too! Thank you for articulating everything I’m feeling. Have also been conflicted around those safe places I’ve relied on, changing, but it feels almost impossible to voice this to anyone anymore. Thank you Jessica for this article and conversation!! The weight on my chest feels lighter.
“Can’t we do both?” - I came here for this comment, thank you!
Bravo! I 100% agree with your article, and the perspectives of Rowling and even Midler, with whom I usually never agree. The trans movement has completely marginalized women and all those feminists out there who are now fully in support of it are total hypocrites! I am not a "birthing person," I am a mom who labored for dozens of hours to give birth to my amazing SON and DAUGHTER and would do it all over again in a NY minute. Trans women (biological men) cannot and will not ever be able to do that and anyone who says they can is not "following the science."
Gender identity zeal is a cult. It’s not science. Stonewall etc did a great job in ensuring equality between sexual preference, and (in the UK) the equality act did a great job of ensuring individuals cannot be marginalised based on their protected characteristics. The battle was won but Stonewall didn’t want to stop and reflect on a huge and worthy success; they wanted more funding, so the fight was extended to include trans rights - a tiny proportion of a proportion. Big pharma LOVES it - can you imagine. You turn a healthy 15 year old into a lifelong patient! All those hormones. All those surgeries. All those side effects. And for what - so someone “feels” like another gender. What does that even mean. The only unifying thing between any two given women are the biological realities. The brain is plastic and there are no discernible differences between the sexes.
But then it went further and further. Self ID is a danger to women and children. Puberty blockers harm children. Californian research: 80-90% of transitioners ultimately detransition. Affected children generally have a number of other mental health problems.
Affirmation is not care, it’s abuse. An anorexic isn’t affirmed, gastric surgery isn’t offered.
There's always a much bigger agenda being played out as the reason for our world being turned upside down and inside out. Kids can't buy cigarettes, alcohol, drive or vote, but a ten-yr-old boy says "I think I'm really a girl" and within months is irreversibly mutilated.
There's a much bigger agenda involving children being played out and it started with CrookedHillary's "It Takes A Village," which took the parents out of the equation. And everyone really felt good about that village, 'cause even people you don't know will take care of your kids in that village. Look how that turned out! Hillary took very good care of all the little children in Haitian villages!
The sick ghoul and close friend-of-still-living-Epstein Bill Gates wants children to be called "sexual beings" and claims that children are “born sexual” and lobbies for children under 10 years of age to be taught about “commercial sex work.” Can someone please find a much bigger pie and throw it in Gates' face!?!?
I’m interested in the big pharma perspective. Do you have a link to the Californian research you reference?
no one has investigated the money behind the movement more than Jennifer Bilek https://youtu.be/tLXdoqXbC6k?t=46
There's few different things going on but transgenderism essentially prepares the legal and cultural landscape for transhumanism ... I know it sounds batshit crazy, but seriously that's what this is all about.
💯....thank you!!
Yes!!!
I recently got fired from my spa where I worked 9 years. I was the most booked, most requested and respected. A 27 year old gay male on his second day was having a conversation with me and he was saying how “he respected everyone’s religion,sex, and gender” and I agreed with him. I said how one of my longest and best friends is gay and we love each other, we eat together and hang out together but she knows that if she ever got married I wouldn’t go to the wedding because of what I believe biblically and morally. Which isn’t everyone’s belief and that’s fine and we both are good on it. But the man went to my bosses and told them that he felt unsafe and he cried in the bathroom... it worked out in the end but honestly I felt like I was reading a viral tweet about someone else when it happened. All these things make me not want to back down about what I believe morally. If we keep backing down everyone will keep towing the line. I have no hatred for anyone just different views that aren’t popular...
Yes, and that needs to be ok. Unpopular views are not criminal.
Right and if we don’t listen or don’t talk about it then the culture gets further and further into their own bubbles and thoughts. I love having conversations about why I think the way I do. Love a good debate too
And THANK YOU for using your platform for good. Was thinking this for the KK ruined my life post as well. You wouldn’t have to say these things, but you’re saying them
OMG yes. This is a huge reason why I’ve stuck with Jessica for as long as I have. I am not always interested in everything she posts about, but whatever she covers, it’s with integrity.
How can a grown person cry about that? People need to stop kowtowing to these little fringe groups! Since when did their off the wall/edgy/controversial lifestyles/ decisions and twisted thoughts become the norm that the majority has to bend over backwards to accommodate?
Enough already! And this rant is coming from a gay white female- I’m so very sick of all of this. So disheartening. Nobody can speak normally to anyone without a risk of “offending someone “ ridiculous. Grow up. All this pandering to the fringe and their alleged victimization and whining and throwing tantrums! Ugh. They love to call attention to themselves so that they get attacked then they can complain about it
It’s literally why I won’t back down. I don’t need to care or being involved or affirm anyone’s anything. That’s not my job. If you have to be affirmed in something thats something wrong with you. I know I’m needy and I need to be affirmed in things and I know it’s unhealthy. Affirmation isn’t love. Chloe cole (detransitioner) just said that
Exactly. I know I’m in a minority group and keep my opinions and orientation to myself 99% of the time. im not expecting the world to revolve around me. Sometimes when I see what’s going on around the planet I am just happy that I am in a safe place on the planet. I think these people that are going into the trans world have mental health issues and hopefully those are fully evaluated for a long time before any decisions are made. People that are allowing children to do this are really sick in the head my opinion . But whatever I’ve only got 30 more years on the planet… And I don’t intend to spend it worrying about that stuff.
My opinion, as well! When it came out early on that there should be no gender ascribed on a baby's birth cert, I was appalled We, humans, that is, are born one of two genders: Male or Female. PERIOD! We can't ID as rabbits or woolly mammoths for God's sake any more than we can as a male or female and be 100% sure to the extent we should allow our children to decide their own gender-based futures! WHY would we decide a 14 yr old child IS knowledgeable enough (never mind mature & capable of making such a life-altering, irreversible decision) as to how they identify strongly enough so they destroy breast tissue & start hormone therapy? I BELIEVE people are born knowing (but not being totally aware of the meaning, necessarily - I DO NOT BELIEVE THEY BECOME later on is my point) they're queer but as far as committing to actual life-altering surgeries, hormones, etc. as a youth? No. I won't ascribe to that policy EVER. I've raised 4 kids. I had one who was VERY in touch with his feminine side BUT was NOT queer. Just VERY open-minded. And he agrees with what I'm saying. I am SO tired of the people who get their feelings hurt over the most ridiculous things! Women (misandrists, apparently) are on a new campaign to go into gyms (just one example) dressed in bulky sweats & walk around until they see the perfect victim(s) & it may very well be a bored grandpa who is just there sitting on a bench enjoying being around others BUT he happens to glance up as said woman begins to disrobe (i.e. removing the bulky sweats to uncover tight leggings & sports bra or less) & upon seeing the man glance at her, she begins to scream she's being assaulted. No, I'm NOT joking! There are YT channels who normally utilize their streaming time to JUST showing new/different workout routines now warning of this as it is apparently rampant. I've warned BOTH my boys one of whom has encountered this multiple times (who are grown men, now) to be VERY careful of this as the human eye, of course, looks to movement regardless what that movement is AND to think that a woman (or a man)disrobing would NOT cause people to look is a pure absurdity! But they're doing this intentionally! This is somewhat the female version of an Andrew Tate, in my opinion. It's sick & I pray doesn't ever rise to the level of someone being charged! That's their hope, I believe! We're in a strange society these days (I think) & I'm in TOTAL agreement with the woman who stated she'll NEVER change her feelings that go against her sense of morality. Exactly how I feel & that we have politicians who are SO outspoken on issues we KNOW (as we've seen them caught in situation(s) that completely abut what it is they're preaching on their podiums!) they don't truly believe but are using to gain attention --- I mostly keep my head down but this was one place I felt, or rather I chose to speak up.
Because it works. Not only for fringe groups. I've read that in 4chan incels are turning femme, with guides and all. I believe this is a manifestation of lack of power, in society these individuals feel the most despised, invisible, no female attention, no social status/sympathy. To us it might be an extreme reaction to an momentary situation but from their perspective it's all that exists.
And on another note, who doesn't like to win oneself approval with a bit of flexing.
this is 100000% true ... the incel to transbian (trans "lesbian") pipeline is a very real and growing phenomena. Unfortunately for them (and the rest of us), when they realize their "transition" in no way improved their prospects they get even more radicalized.
They called it a hate crime as well
Ridiculous! If only they understood what a true "hate crime" is. Maybe they need to talk to Jessie Smollett (w/sarcasm)
LOL
Thank you for introducing me to this podcast. I have never read a Harry Potter book, never seen an HP movie, never had any opinions about JK Rowling whatsoever, nor the ‘scandal’ that plagued her. I had heard she had made statements deemed ‘transphobic’ but just didn’t do any sort of deep, or even shallow, dive to find out about them.
However, I listened to this podcast and now have the utmost respect and admiration for this badass woman. There is such a shortage of people who go against the masses and are willing to speak up for what is right, despite the personal toll it might take on their own lives.
So much respect for her. I have since bought my first Harry Potter book.
This does go deeper. We as a society are accepting that body mutilation is not a problem. I’m sorry to say this but if people are willing to castrate themselves in order to be accepted or feel whole then there has to be underlying mental issues. It’s another form of body dysmorphia. This is no different to an eating disorder for someone with anorexia starving themselves because they don’t like the way they look. But as a society we don’t accept that. It’s a mental health issue. But what I really can’t handle is children being fed this rubbish. It’s absolutely mortifying. We don’t see in the press articles about people who regret their choice to transition, and there are many many out there. People need to be happy with the skin they are in, and whether you are male or female shouldn’t matter. What will it actually change?
👏👏👏
A perfect example of 2 things being true at once - It’s hard being born a woman AND it’s hard (in a different way) to be a trans woman
Thank you. THIS.
I've been fascinated by this saga since it started for this reason. I've read her essay a few times now and each time I think, "you know what, she kind of has a point there", followed immediately by "you know what, never mind I take that back". Rinse and repeat. I love delving into the grey in life and this article was a great analysis for me, thank you.
For me, what it boils down to is the (JK's) viewpoint that being more inclusive of trans and non-binary folks is detrimental and less inclusive to women. Of course there are extremists in any groups but I just don't see how anyone advocating trans rights is saying this. Terms like 'people who menstruate' or 'people who give birth' are umbrella terms that INCLUDE the use of the word women, not exclude it. It's like saying don't call me a person, call me a woman. Both are true, the latter is a more specific version of the former. If someone complimented my shoes, I wouldn't correct them and say they're sandals. Both are correct! Same with people who menstruate and women. When speaking collectively, the former is more inclusive and accurate to encompass all people who menstruate, but you are still able to apply whatever label is most accurate to you when referring to an individual. Maybe I'm oversimplifying it here but it just seems like JK and others who agree with her are crying erasure totally unnecessarily. Would happily welcome opinions on this if I'm being too simplistic
Imagine changing a word that encapsulates your very identity and being in order to include less than 1%. If gender is fluid and we are all more similar than different why do people still feel like things aren’t an even playing field? Why are pronouns so important to trans people? Is there any other group of people in the world where it is demanded of them to accept change immediately without discussion or debate, to use the desired pronouns, to send their kids off to school where they are literally being bombarded with propaganda (they are.) have you ever considered that there are women who do not harass trans people; do not attend anti trans marches, do not sign anti trans petitions; do not troll trans or even follow trans people online , do not go around hating on anyone living their life, but simply aren’t willing to allow biological males who have gone through puberty and a male experience to enter their world as an equal woman no questions asked? If Hilaria Baldwin can be ripped to shreds for adopting a Spanish accent and being cagey about her background by ‘pretending’ to be Spanish, why would a man in a dress be immediately accepted as a woman?
This is an issue I have too lpd. If gender is fluid why is there a fixation on the words that describe gender. We should all just be fine being called whatever bc if gender is fluid then the words that describe gender are kind of meaningless. But the fact is, for whatever reason, labels matter. I’ve seen lots of what do you care what anyone calls you directed toward women. And lots of “why do you care?” And it’s like, well, we care for the same reasons trans people seem to care. But there’s this idea, and someone said it verbatim in the comments here, that “cis women owe it to trans women...” And honestly that’s the best, most boiled down, description of the current sentiment.
The notion that we are indebted to trans women is VERY different from we all need to just accept people for what they are.
Wow, yes.
And yeah, I do care what I’m called. “Person with period” isn’t a thing I want to be called.
Also I’m 45. When I stop menstruating in a few years, what do I get to be called then? Nothing? Women of a certain age have always been kinda invisible anyway and I guess there won’t be any words left to describe them at all at some point.
Yes, we’re not cows (sorry cows) It’s dehumanizing being reduced to our biological functions. It’s like they got together and brainstormed how to make the healthcare setting experience even worse.
I guess people who menstruate become people with bone density loss. Sounds great
Do we need umbrella terms though when it is ONLY women who menstruate and give birth?
Also just to add, I know there's way more to her argument than just the use of terms, it's just that the tweet that started this whole thing off was on this subject. I'm not reducing the whole conversation to just this one point but digging a bit deeper on this area
Thank you for saying this! Exactly
Perhaps we might see this as a male-led attack on a successful and prominent female.
That is certainly one way of looking at it.
I'm a cis woman and I despise her for her recent hard right turn. I've also been assaulted by men.
The problem is men and misogyny. Not trans women. They are not the ones causing these issues. Using them as a cover to deal with issues that are caused by men is gross and doesn't fix it.
I'm not seeing any hard right turn. She has always pushed for the underdog, in particular, women. We always get the short end of the stick and that's not right. I'm simply not seeing any change in her message.
I don't see her attacking trans women, to be honest. I see a recognition that someone who goes through a significant body realignment and cultural change to be accepted as a woman is displaying their own brand of courage and solidarity.
Her point is that if we allow men who identify as woman without any commitment or change whatsoever to enter women-only spaces such as changerooms and public toilets, then we are setting ourselves up for attack and mistreatment.
And there *are* men who would do that. Lying, creepy, misogynistic bastards. The world is crawling with them.
So you agree… the problem is with men, not trans women.
People who would pretend to be trans to attack a woman are horrible both because of the violence and because they would use a marginalized group for cover. That doesn’t mean they should be grouped with trans women.
Jk Rowling is attacking trans women by excluding them. See my comment below for how that’s a hard right.
Gender roles and norms are changing. Deal with it. It’s been happening for centuries, and each major change brings a flurry of panic.
Trans women *are* men
I don't think you read my comment. If you did, it seems like you only saw your own words. You obviously haven't been listening to JKR either. I'm not sure how you can claim any right to superior knowledge based on this sort of behaviour.
Perhaps you should listen to the podcast, open your eyes and ears a little wider?
I’m actually really saddened to read the comments being outwardly transphobic saying trans women “are” men and the author of this post not realizing that this entire article is giving a foundation for this terf-y logic. The leap from being a survivor of domestic violence to then putting blame on trans women and inciting panic about trans women in women only spaces is hard to understand because there is no connection. The amount of cis men inciting violence on us every single day and yet trans women are now being villianized for the behaviour of cis men? Sounds like the opposite of feminism to me where WOMEN get blamed for violence enacted by cis men. Disgusting really.
Not sure how you arrive at such a view unless you are claiming that all trans women share the same characteristics which to my mind at least is patently ridiculous. You seem to be drawing a line between women and trans women that puts you in a place most people call the Land of Irony.
I have never been assaulted, but that didn’t change the fact that when I was in the women’s bathroom at the gym today alone, located down a long hallway and out of earshot, sitting in my stall tending to my menstruation situation, I saw feet that clearly belonged to a man walk past my stall and I froze in fear. I finished as quickly as possible and left before this man could exit his stall. When I left the bathroom and felt safe among other gym-goers, I waited nearby to see this person exit so I could report him to staff. Alas, he was wearing lipstick and a sports bra, so I would have been called a bigot or transphobe if I had reported a man in the women’s locker room. At this point in culture, I’m genuinely curious as to how the question would be answered by some (by you), why do women have their own bathrooms separate from men? Why do they have their own sports teams? Own prison facilities? What’s the point of even having safe spaces for women anymore?
……. You were being a bigot and a trans phobe. This person did nothing to actually bother you except pass a stall that you were in, presumably to use the bathroom in peace, and you freaked out over large feet? Yeah, you’re the creepy weirdo in this situation.
What are you going to do, ask someone to pull down their pants? Check their blood work? If you’re afraid of cis men sneaking into the women’s room, I have news for you…. That’s an issue to take up with cis men, not trans women.
I am a cis woman and I’m tall and not very curvy, and I have been mistaken for a dude when my hair is covered. I’m terrified that somebody like you is going to assume I’m trans and confront me. I’m not about to pull down my pants or show my medical records to some weird freak in a bathroom who is scared of tall women. I’m also scared on behalf of trans women who are just trying to mind their own business who may be hurt, confronted, embarrassed, or even killed because of someone like you panicking when they’re not doing anything to you.
“…or even killed” wow. That escalated quickly. Every animal on earth has a sex recognition skill. It’s a primary instinct necessary for survival. So yes, when I saw a man’s feet, noticed the size, shape, gait, it wasn’t hard to immediately determine it was a man. Despite his costume or caricature, he didn’t resemble a female in the least. What you are asking is for people to ignore their instincts. Don’t even get me started on what a safeguarding failure it is to our children when we demand they purposefully misgender what they know instinctively to be incorrect. There was a large man, at least 6’4”, in a woman’s safe space. I didn’t need a DNA test or ask to check his genitals (although they were apparent through his leggings anyway) in order to know that a man had entered a space designated specifically for women. But I’m just supposed to be able to take someone *at their word* that they are something that they are so obviously not. Lipstick and a sports bra does *not* a woman make. I see you ignored my questions about why these safe spaces even exist anymore - I am curious how you would try to make sense of that.
Exactly. Why are we being asked to ignore our natural instincts to not hurt people's feelings? It's ridiculous and a perfect breeding ground for bad actors. Everyone should read 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker. Don't ignore those natural instincts. That's when we get in trouble. Didn't want to hurt feelings, so I put myself in a dangerous position.
Yes! I have referenced Gavin De Becker's Gift of Fear for years, and it's only even more relevant in 2023 with males wanting to access our spaces. Instincts exist for a reason, so LISTEN. Everyone should read that book. Remember when he said (I'm paraphrasing) "A deer would not get in a steel cage with a predator. So don't get into an elevator with a man who gives you the creeps ". Yep, same thing. Don't stay in a changeroom or bathroom when your instincts tell you GET OUT.
I will NOT disobey my perfectly honed evolutionary skills to pander to a gender ideology cult mentality (many of whom are mentally ill and you wouldn't want to make eye contact with them in the street).
Humans are still animals. I will not force-logic myself out of danger signals. I will listen to my natural instincts, thank you very much.
Feelings are normal and natural, yes. It’s okay to fear what seems new. But maybe we can not stay dwelling in the fears. As you know as intelligent humans there’s also another lever of thinking that we use to assuage irrational fears. It comes from understanding the where the fear comes from and whether it actually matches reality. You probably do it all the time with other instinctual fears. Fearing trans women in bathrooms is an irrational fear and it can be a harmful one. This is what trans activists are trying to say. There’s nothing rational to fear about being more inclusive of trans people.
I am listening to your side of things and I understand it. What do you understand of the trans acceptance side of things? What have you learned listening to trans people (not just passionate activists)?
My natural instinct is to be afraid of people like you. Why are you more valid?
BUT THEY WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING TO THREATEN YOU.
You gave NO indication that you were under any threat, just that you were scared of somebody for no god damn reason. There's no reason to acknowledge your question because you were never in danger. You just freaked out because you're afraid of trans women who are just trying to exist. Doesn't matter if you disagree. I'd feel more unsafe around you, because I'm tall and have been mistaken for a dude (which is wild, because I have visible boobs and long hair, but whatever). I'm terrified that people like you are going to push for mandatory genital exams for people to prove their sex matches their clothes based on arbitrary designations. This person did nothing to you. They didn't even talk to you. You just apparently stared at their crotch and had a panic attack, while they probably didn't even notice you.
You're a transphobe. Disgusting. I wish we could unclaim you as a woman.
You seem to have been made so angry by what Jill described and I’m sorry for that, because anger is such a hateful emotion. But surely it’s important to realise that, essentially, Jill had a visceral reaction of fear because of an innate, biological, recognition of a male person being close to her at a vulnerable moment for her. If it’s a visceral reaction, and an emotional one, is it her fault? None of us can control what our natural instinctive reactions are, only our behaviours. We can’t control what emotions pop up, we can only control how we handle those emotions. Maybe it’s an idea to examine why this has touched such a nerve for you? As much as I’m sure you’re totally right and Jill was in no danger - you can’t say this unequivocally, because none of us know if she was or wasn’t - we weren’t there. It’s these aggressive replies such as yours, in response to someone just speaking about their own emotions that this whole debate is about. To wish that “we” could unclaim Jill as a woman is such a violent thing to say. The irony is that your attempt to negate her right to exist as a woman, is exactly the same as some fascist doing the same to someone who is trans. After everything, If she’s a disgusting transphobe, you’ve just equally proven yourself to be a good old fashioned misogynist.
Having a man in women’s safe spaces *is* a threat. And now that you have proven that you cannot answer what the point is of having safe spaces for women (and likely cannot coherently answer what a woman even is), you can stop responding and liking your own comments. You are a [supposed] woman (anybody can claim that now apparently, according to you) that believes it’s bigotry for women to speak about their lived experience of being an *actual* woman. And you wish you could remove my womanhood, because now “womanhood” is now a category that can be earned somehow. Lol. That’s enough internet for me today…
Erm, you are projecting your own issues here. To have concerns about a man wearing lipstick and a sports bra being in the women’s bathroom is not unreasonable and NOT transphobic. This is a very difficult line for EVERYONE involved. Jill removed herself from the situation she clearly did not want to hurt or harm this person. Neither did she report her concerns for fear of being labelled, cancelled or banned from the gym herself. Once again the little woman keeps her head down and the man gets exactly what he desires. This is a huge conversation and we clearly do not have any straight forward answers, but these views, the views of many women, are valid and important.
I’m also curious if there is any way to know definitively if this man who entered the locker room yesterday at my gym was indeed a trans woman or a predatory cis man? If you’re so certain there is a huge difference, how are women, who find themselves alone with them in a bathroom or other safe space, supposed to know?
Can you explain what you mean by ‘hard right turn’? Her views on women’s rights, healthcare, abortion, government etc are very much classed as left wing.
Are you suggesting wanting single sex spaces is ‘right wing’? Or wanting diligence in medical treatment offered to minors?
Hard right? to state that sex is real and that women have to right yo single sex spaces? I beg of you to stop saying everything you disagree with is "far right". It's just ridiculous and you wont win any arguments that way.
And to many people trans women abd men are one and the same. You don't magically lose your maleness by declaring yourself to be a woman.
I’m not saying everything I disagree with is “far right”. Liberals do as much damage as conservatives, but they pretend to be on our side. JK Rowling worked with and praised Matt Walsh for his documentary. He is far right, and he calls himself a “Theocratic Fascist” unironically.
The many people who equate cis men and trans women are flat out wrong and incapable of nuance, and clearly don’t understand the history of gender expression in western civilization.
“Conservative” means “averse to change or innovation and holding traditional values.” Historically, the conservative/traditionalist view is that gender roles should not change. Traditionalist values include: women not being allowed to vote, work, choose whether or not to get married and reproduce, or even choose whether or not they can wear pants. Social conservatives have tried to block each one of those norms from changing, and it is socially conservative to be anti trans. You’re free to feel that way, but that is objectively a socially conservative view.
Rowling has chosen to team up with and praise a man who openly spews exterminationist rhetoric, openly says women and children should be subservient to men, says “I violate my kids consent all the time” regarding showing affection to children, supports arranged marriages, thinks women should stay in abusive marriages (because tradition is more important than mental health, apparently), and thinks that friendships between men and women can’t exist because he believes there will always be sexual undertones. So yeah, praising him was a “hard right”. She may “not share all the same views”, but she has shown him more deference than she has shown toward actual trans people. And before you say I took his views out of context, I listen to his show regularly, and it’s far worse than the paraphrasing even shows.
I hate to keep weighing in on this, but just bc someone happens to agree with a point made by someone who is “right wing” that doesn’t make them right wing as well. Agreeing with someone on a certain point doesn’t mean they’re “teaming up” with them.
I’m sorry but I really balk at this bc guilty by association mentality was a big trend in my area during Covid. Anyone who spoke out against prolonged school closures was maligned as right wing or, worse, trump supporters lol
I listen to him fairly regularly and while I don't agree with him all the time, your characterization of him is one not based on actual knowledge, but what others have said about him. He does not espouse even half of what you just accused him of.
I literally cannot stand Matt Walsh but you’re totally right.
I listen to him regularly. He does. If you don't think it's bad, that's a you problem.
He does not
The problem is men and misogyny, and trans women have been assaulting women. Certainly not all of them, but enough of them have, its just not safe to have a "self identified female" who's a biological man, in our spaces. It opens the door to very bad scenarios. Even disagreeing with them, trans "women" have been assualting women who just want to speak. Why do they threaten to rape and kill "terfs"? They ARE misogynist. And dangerous to us. All a man has to do is say "I feel like a woman" and he gets access to our safe spaces. No hormones, no surgery, nothing, he just "feels" like it. I don't see how you don't see the danger in this. Its already a problem. Women have been raped by men housed in our prisons. It's just too bad for trans people. They don't get to erase us and our spaces.
There are more cis women that attack cis women than trans women who attack us. Why do you feel safe around cis women?
First of all there's no such thing as "cis" women, that's a slur. There's only women. And most women are not so much bigger than me as to have an advantage. And last time I checked, women don't rape us, because they don't have penises. But trans "women" mostly do, and have, raped women, in our safe spaces. And since the floodgates are only recently being opened, this is only going to increase. Maybe you should look at the mugshots of men in dresses who attacked us. It's one thing to make a man go through years of vetting and social and medical transition before they're allowed in our bathrooms and prison (I still don't agree with that either, but at least it weeds out the psychos). Now we have men who can simply say they feel like a woman, put on some lipstick and a dress (as if thats what defines womanhood), and enter our spaces, where not only women, but little girls are. We are more vulnerable than biological men. In general, sure there are exceptions, but this all boils down to protecting women and girls. Here's a great podcast where you can learn about reality
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/whose-body-is-it/id1597517757
Another hundred years and this will be mad science.
Yes, I believe there is some misogyny rooted in this…it’s a paradox. Women’s rights are being taken away for sure…real women that is.
I also personally think that misogyny is the biggest issue here too
I agree wholeheartedly With your article and the comments above . As women we need to be more aware of what damage is being done here to our spaces, sports , and language used to describe our lived experiences . Have you also noticed the same is not being asked of men ?
Further than that , we can not stand by and allow children to be medicalised before they have had a chance to experience the world and see how they fit in to their own space . I really do believe we are witnessing a social contagion , I have worked for children’s services for over 20 years and in that time had only ever come across one child who said they wanted to be a different gender. I had come across many with gender dysphoria , mainly girls, and they were in therapy receiving support to help them to accept themselves and their bodies . But in the last 3 years I have come across dozens of children wanting to change their genders . What is the shift among adolescents, where is it all coming from ? Surely those are the questioning we need to be asking and exploring further? Shutting down the conversations and silencing those who don’t go along with the narrative will be very damaging in the long run . It’s very authoritarian
I appreciate that you mentioned sports. I have kids who are competitive swimmers. My oldest competed at a national level. I know what the inside of that sport looks like, what those competition tech swimsuits are like. It takes 3 people to put one on. Athletes are naked in the locker rooms. When the controversy over Lia Thomas happened last year, most of it was about Thomas smashing records and beating competitors by unbelievable margins. No one was really talking about the shared space of the locker rooms, athletes having to help one another into their tech suits, etc. This aspect is one that I just don’t think had even been considered in the coverage. Anyway that’s my two cents.
Did you also know that there are bills being introduced in various states that will allow a male prison inmate to transfer to the women's prison simply because he says he's a woman? No surgery, no nothing. Just because he says
Like the rapist in Scotland....and that didn’t pan out well.
Like Barbie Kardashian a fully intact male jailed in a women's prison in Ireland. Was jailed because he threatened to rape & kill his mother and tried to choke a female social worker..
Yes, my sister has been following that for a while and sometimes sends me updates. Certainly some of the individuals are legitimately trans. Some are taking advantage though, and that’s scary.
They're male. They shouldnt be in women's spaces
I live in a Cornish town by the sea called Falmouth , on one of its beaches there are both male and separate female toilets probably built in the 1940s , a couple of years ago they closed the male toilets and now everyone uses the female toilets , the toilets are not closed in , it’s so horrible to use them now. It used to be a safe space to change in or out of swimming outfits , children come of the beach to use them , it terrifies me that a young teenager on her period has to go into these toilets with men coming in and out, with maybe a man in the next cubicle .
That's absurd. Why did they do that?
As always, incredibly well thought out. When JK first made her statements, I could relate. As a woman, who has experienced both childhood sexual abuse and later again as an adult, I fully understood where she was coming from and was disheartened at the intensity of hate and misinterpretation that followed her. It sent the message that women had best be silent about their abuse and the life long effect of their traumas unless they were ready for the hate and animosity that came after. Two things can exist, one can support peoples right to be who they are and live as they are and also be fearful about bad people taking advantage of new rules intending to be inclusive of trans people. Being fearful of shitty people (of any gender/ identity) taking advantage of easier access to their victims does not mean I think trans people are bad.
You stated this so well. I was sexually assaulted as a child so it’s just not black and white for me either. I would never want to appear hateful... but I also want protection for myself, my daughter, all women.
I wholeheartedly concur. I’m an English teacher in the UK & three years ago I was set upon by my colleagues when I suggested Rowling’s name for one of our classes (we were re-naming them after famous writers). They actually snorted in derision and talked about her being ‘anti-trans’; only to then admit when I pressed them further that they hadn’t actually read her statement yet. Both younger members of the Dept; both women; both suggesting I wasn’t being enlightened & didn’t understand the trauma of trans people. And yet it was somehow OK to name a class ‘Pinter’ after the appallingly rude & misogynistic playwright (of whom I had personal experience, having met him). I’m still very angry about what I experienced as the dangerous and frankly ignorant willingness to condemn someone without even bothering to read her!!!!!!! And I was willing to resign rather than accept the principle that open debate is ‘phobic’ . From English teachers!!!! J k Rowling is my hero; and you’ve just joined her!!! 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
this was a fascinating comment! You touched on a major point I was hoping to highlight - how so much energy dedicated to canceling her comes from people who have not taken the time to READ her statements in full. This I think is so dangerous, the spoon-fed outrage so many depend on these days. Know what you are standing up or in rejection of. Don't count on manipulated edits to decide for you.
Love to all the English teachers!
Xx
Thank you 🙏 so much - means a whole lot to me! It felt so awful at the time to be ‘sidelined’ as some kind of bigot by people who hadn’t even informed themselves of the basic facts. It feels so good now to see voices as intelligent and influential as yours questioning this almost fanatical orthodoxy. And it’s precisely because of your independence that you’re able to do this. A brave and brilliant move. Power to independent women and the freedom of debate!
I am not an expert, but it does seem that the trans movement is taking more from women than men. Maybe I am just unaware, but are men having trans men dominate in their sports? Has a trans man been named "man of the year" like a trans woman was? Are trans men trying to get in male prisons? Do men feel uncomfortable when trans men are in their locker rooms? No. Why? Women are the easy targets and the reality is that there are differences in the sexes. I think we as a society have to make room for these differences and give space to them when necessary. JK Rowling is simply stating the obvious: being a natural born woman IS different than being a natural born man; physically, bodily and emotionally. By ignoring these obvious differences, the reality is that women will be the ones to pay.
So true
I wonder how much of it has to do with women being more exclusionary than men perhaps when it comes to gender identity? Do men care as much that trans men exist in the same gendered spaces? I dunno either.
If women have bonded together as a result of being discriminated against historically then it makes sense that there’s a sense of protection over that. But what I don’t understand is why that bonding of gender identity can’t include trans women who have also experienced gender discrimination and identify as women. Sure the nature of the discrimination might be different but they are still women so why not include them as women? I guess I don’t understand seeing trans women as part of the patriarchy because of their experiences with discrimination due to their gender identity. And I don’t understand the perceived threat towards womanhood because descriptive words becoming more inclusive.
Thank you for sharing this. I listened to the podcast and thought how measured it was. I’m a lefty and so are most of my friendship group, my sister is a lesbian and I consider myself a gay ally. We can’t believe what my gay sisters are currently enduring and don’t even get me started on what is happening to the gay kids. It’s so important for us to all keep calmly talking common sense.
Absolutely agree!
To clarify, do you mean that lesbians are being called trans-phobic on a regular basis, and gay young women are sliding in to thinking they are trans? That’s what I see very clearly.
Yes I have been seeing this too.
Basically, yes.
So true!
Recently there’s been a spate of retailers sending out messages that if you’d rather not receive Mother’s Day promotional emails, you can pause/opt out of just those. This feels weird/off to me, and NOT because of the many reasons Mother’s Day is conflicted and sensitive for many people. But it seems to me like another instance in which motherhood is acceptable to be eliminated. It’s not like you can pause/opt out of Black Friday advertising because thanksgiving is troublesome and offensive to many people, or Christmas advertising because either Christianity OR the commercialization of the religious holiday is offensive to some, etc. Again, I totally get why Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of people, but the fact that is the ONE holiday that can be paused/ignored is weird to me and feels “off”. Part of being ALIVE is that we all have a mother, even if that relationship is hard or broken or nonexistent or not one we personally celebrate. It’s still a reality.
I kind of got interrupted on my train of thought, but I think I was trying to say that it seems odd that it’s the holiday relating to women and motherhood that can be canceled (and I want to reiterate, I understand why people DO have sensitivity on this subject), but not the slew of other holidays that also have troubling/offensive/sensitive connotations.
Hi Grace - this is the first year that many retailers have provided an opt out, and I fully expect they will do the same for Father's Day, which in Australia is later in the year.
I for one was relieved and thought it considerate. Both of my parents are dead, I don't enjoy the saturation advertising around these days, which are merely a commercial exercise anyway.
I thought that this initiative might also be a nod to the millions of same sex families in the world, many of whom are headed by male parents.
I have long thought there should be - if people insist - on a 'parent's day' and get rid of the whole mother's and father's days.
I am and will always be on the side of NOT negating and diminishing girls and women, regardless of who or why. Women have fought for hundreds of years to be afforded the same rights and dignity as anyone else (and make up 51% of the population), but I don't think the action by retailers had that angle in mind. (And they haven't cancelled the day or the marketing, only allowing their mail lists to opt out of advertising.)
Perhaps this year they'll allow people to opt out of Xmas advertising? Let's wait and see!
Also as I said, I have not criticism of the reasons why a person may desire to opt out. I just found it suspect that Mother’s Day was the only opt out offered. (And maybe that will be expanded, and if so, like I said, I’ll stand corrected.)
It's the first such date in the retail year. I'd fully expect to see similar messages in the lead up to Father's Day. We'll see.
Oops, I immediately stand corrected, why didn't they start with Valentine's Day? 🤔
My husband mentioned Valentines Day last night when we were talking about this. A LOT of people are sensitive about Valentines Day. I guess we’ll see what happens with Father’s Day. My instinct is they won’t offer an opt out for it because despite the fact that almost everyone has at least some kind of father wound, we don’t think of it as a shopping holiday.
Retailers still amp up the advertising for the dad's. If they're being sensitive about same sex and diverse families, as well as people's personal circumstances, then those opt outs should be coming.
Valentine's is such a rubbish commercial day, it should be abolished for that reason alone. It's probably not good for the wellbeing of many people, it's not designed to make anyone feel good.
If they start allowing other opt outs, I will stand corrected!