Fascinating when you see the different lens’s of people’s experiences… her take vs how she sees Virginia’s take is really very interesting. On an aside. I’ve been reading through previous posts as I just recently subscribed… even more fascinating for me is the gift you have to make others feel safe and trusting of you. I so appreciate that you’ve created that space for all of these different people. Thanks for sharing that gift with us. I can imagine some days it’s a pretty heavy lift for you.
I know I was what would be described as a goody-twoshoes at the beginning of my teen years. And I hadn’t been instilled with much ability for independent thinking.
I always seemed to catch the attention of “bad girls” and get dragged into sex, drugs and rock’n roll. Anyone would have been shocked to see me at 14, 15, 16 getting involved in partying - just about always with men between the ages of 18 and 50.
It was an experience I certainly wouldn’t want for my daughter. At the time though - in my head, I was of age, and I was certainly putting myself into the proximity of these individuals. For whatever reason, I never thought of myself as a victim and I just HAD these bizarre experiences with all these people as if it was the agenda of the times. This was in the late 70’s and early 80’s.
It’s really a bit of a mind warp to put those experiences into the context of something like the MeToo movement.
It’s just what we did - the seeking of crazy adventures with questionable people and substances.
It didn’t have the element of purposeful grooming or wealth or celebrity, but we teens were certainly not being viewed as off-limits by any of these men and they just took our presence as face value consent or something 😳
In any case, as a quite introverted, studious, thoughtful person, it seems ludicrous now to know I went through all that. But I have always chalked it up to a somewhat karmic experience of that era of time that I lived through.
Also, there’s no one to sue for 7 million dollars for taking advantage of me then 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your comment. As a wild teenager of the 80s I was hit on by a famous female sitcom star slipping me the key to her suite. I was locked in a bathroom in San Francisco by Tupac Shakur exposing himself wanting a blow job. Smoked hash with the Go-Go’s. Wild times. I’m not playing victim or thinking gosh, I should have sued. It was what it was. Sign of the times.
I feel like I should amend my brief story by saying while I declined the first two scenarios I mentioned (one being frightening but flattering at the same time - twisted, I know) I got myself tangled into many situations as a young woman. At 16, 17 I knew better and was capable of making a choice. Had money been a factor, I may have made very poor choices out of necessity. I struggle with the taken advantage part and the age of some of these girls. I don’t think it’s black or white and I’m conflicted.
Absolutely. While part of me romanticizes the experiences I had, if I had ever caught one of those individuals being so casual with my teenage daughter, they wouldn’t have known what hit them.
Even though in many ways, I wouldn’t be who I am now without having lived that. You can’t really isolate individuals from the era in which they’ve grown up. Hence, the prosecuting of certain crimes is really in a gray area. Tough moral dilemmas.
Yes you’ve kind of nailed my experience too. At the time I thought of myself as tough and precocious and I didn’t see the adult men as users or abusers. I came face to face with one last week for the first time in 15 years and it brought up a lot of feelings. I do feel like he robbed me.
Yes, I hear you! There was one man in particular - 40 years old to my 15 years 😳 - who I think took particular advantage of me for an extended time. I would have some incredibly choice words for him now.
Great post. It’s great to read her perspective and very odd she didn’t want to perpetuate the victim narrative, but to take responsibility for a choice she made. Indeed humans are much more complex than simply good or evil.
I’m feeling I need to process as well. Interesting that as a victim she still feels loyal (in my opinion)which makes me think how deeply she was manipulated. And what if all the glamour and famous people was taken away during that time, would she still feel the same way? Would she be giving him massages? I doubt GM would leave society and live in the woods if she were set free.
It definitely sounds like a witches spell these girls were under.
I agree with you. I was actually thinking the same, how deep was the manipulation? How much trauma has her mind just blocked out? They "eased" her into doing things she didn't want to do or hadn't yet done, i.e. she was a virgin and was slowly manipulated into losing her virginity to JE. I understand forgiving your abuser (for your own sake, not theirs), but there are still consequences, right? (Also, not saying she has forgiven them)
Regarding her living in the woods - she might have been referencing her house. She was arrested, I believe, at her house, which is deep in the woods. It's very secluded and completely surrounded by woods, if I remember correctly.
Based on her not speaking badly about GM . Again in my opinion she only said how they manipulated her. Which seems to be an amazing quality GM has on people. Almost like they don’t even know it’s happening to them. GM is a Very fascinating person. And I did say I am still processing all this.
That’s kinda the point of the topic of not everything is black and white. An individual can still like a part of a person even though another part is stirring up some negative feeling within themselves. It’s not all this or that. It’s this and that, or even better, this is that.
I’m 52 years old. Went through some terrible abuse from 72-84, pretty bad stuff (anything you can think of, it happened). My Mother turned the other cheek, in all of it. Oldest brother drug overdose, next brother told her she’s dead to him years ago, twin brother, well, I’m convinced he’s got total and complete amnesia, or victims amnesia, at a clinical level. Me, I’m her now P.O.A. for everything, by choice, as she’s at end stage Alzheimer’s disease and congestive heart failure.
So all this (probably TMI…. whatever), to say, yea…. Human’s have so many ways of processing trauma, and be able to move forward. I love my Mother even though she’s liable to so much….that I’ll never really will know how much she knew (like GH and JE) or actually orchestrated herself? I really believe good and evil exist at the same time, in all of us. There’s certainly no reasons to try and take 15 min of celebrity. Your anonymous writer is so eloquent in explaining her experience.
Thank you for making me want to pay attention to these issues of late, with an no “news” really happening anymore, and most regular reporters not even giving the real story. Your humor and intelligence just shines in your writings!
Okay, starting to feel like that awkward freshman at her first party that started just TALKING, and can’t stop! Either that, or that last edible I ate was WAY more THC than the package said!!!🥴
I get it. I'm 58 and during the same basic time periods was phyically and sexually molested by my step father until my mom divored him - due to him cheating on her another woman - not to protect me. I have had a a confusing relationship with my mother which worsened when I found out at 19 I was illigitimate - that I had a dad who could have helped me escape from the hell but . . . My mom died Feb 28, 2020 from cancer. I live in OC and flew to Washington to see my mom when she was near the end because it was the right thing to do. I somehow thought I would not be affected; that I'd actually be relieved when she died. I was so wrong. I. Was. Gutted. Perhaps it was because I never knew the woman other people did. I don't know. I hope you have found peace with your mom and am sorry for your pain. I had to make peace with my past - it appears that's what this woman has also done - The pain molds us but we decide if we're molded into a flower or a blob. I, like this woman, chose flower.
Her perspective, so even and balanced, "indifferent" as she says, really humanizes the larger story here - not only for herself but for everyone involved. Thank you for sharing this, Jessica!
This is a great article but why doesn’t anybody mention what tbey really did?? Children!?! And trafficking them to all the elites. They always concentrate on two or three late teenagers giving massages. Seems like we are missing a HUGE part of the whole story.
PS watch this. one of the best sound minded interviews revealing much of what all people in our world need to know. just ignore the brief commercials the interviewer has to abide by. They are easy to skip with the scroll bar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-d3jFIGxdQ
But to tell someone else who was abused in that way and her abuse happened when she was still a child, that her feelings aren’t accurate is not accurate. This is her perspective at what is considered to have happened at an adult age and she still inserts that is was abuse. She’s telling her story from a completely different pint of view and with not the same details as she obviously had no clue what happened to that other girl.
This! Exactly!! To discredit the other girl, after she even stated she had no idea she was being abused as well, is so odd to me! Why would she try to downplay another's experience? Because the other girl was younger? Was she actually maybe slightly jealous of her? (Which can happen, the jealousy. Psychological trauma of wanting either be the only one or even the "favorite" of the abuser)
Her perspective feels to me that she is still in recovery perhaps amd hasn't gone down the full road to find her rage at about what she experienced. The calm demeanor she espouses just suggests that she hasn't fully listened to herself and howbshe fully feels about it. Him grooming her for all those years so slowly "winning" her so to speak and deflecting his (je) rage to be fulfilled by his shills n henchmen, well, there are just so many red flags here in her storyline about how utterly abusive the whole situation was yet she seems almost number to it still which is a clear sing of her pain not being felt and processed. Jist my opinion here on what I read above. Only she really knows but we all have our own instincts and experience we can perceive through our own lense as well as sense the other. Just my thoughts. Perhapsbthere is more to her storybshebis telling and who she is that what the is revealing so far. Peoole have split personalities and dont even have memory of things they do and what they have allowed to have been done to them.
There's just something missing here for me when it comes down to the waybshes expressing herself and seemingly not accusing je of much and yet saying the other girls lived the life of parties with models as she said and therefore it couldn't have been that bad? Did I read her article correctly? Maybe i need to read it again and im all wrong.
For me, it comes down to just how indoctrinated we all are to being abused. How familiar it is to allow people to seduce us into a state of compliance to do whatever is their bidding. We are all largely trained to be passive and to be acquiescent to so-called authentic especially as women, girls, females. It's in every show, commercial, movie, talk show, religion and more. Even the out spoken sheroes often are riddled with mixed messages to stay silent or else. If you speak up and tell the truth, feel yourbown truth, listen to your instincts, well, you better watch out is their message. We are working hard to changing that but the oppressor/mirdirirz status quo still have the main hold on the leash. They may let the leash out tobkae it seem like we free buh we still ain't free.
Our minds have long been co-opted. We don't even own our own minds, I'm telling you. We don't. We think we do, but we don't. We are psychically manipulated at every turn from the get go. Our images, our feelings and the words we repeat in our minds were planted before we were born by our mother's programming and all the obvious and the subliminal messages we picked up since we are conceived.
We are so brainwashed, we don't even realize we are brainwashed.
We think we like some teevee show because, well, we like it. When the reality is, we've been trained to like it and this is with jist about everything in our lives.
It’s refreshing to read a perspective free from the influence of lawyers or a desire for fame. What JE and GM did was not acceptable by any means, this provides an unedited understanding of both the good and the horrendous.
I agree that it was a role she only played as part of her own relationship with Jeffery. Without him , she would not have been continuing such activities. I think she wanted his love / companionship - the illusion or delusion? of being a couple, so badly that she would do whatever it took to stay in his orbit and at his side as lady of the house/s. And what it took to satiate him ,to please him, was procuring taboo underage beautiful girls to serve him. She may have been waist deep before she realized what she was doing.
Having lived in Manchester by the Sea once upon a time , I am really looking forward to your part 2 of Ghislaine on the run -- unless you have already posted & I missed it ?
Fascinating when you see the different lens’s of people’s experiences… her take vs how she sees Virginia’s take is really very interesting. On an aside. I’ve been reading through previous posts as I just recently subscribed… even more fascinating for me is the gift you have to make others feel safe and trusting of you. I so appreciate that you’ve created that space for all of these different people. Thanks for sharing that gift with us. I can imagine some days it’s a pretty heavy lift for you.
Great reporting. You’re doing a wonderful job!!!
Thank you!!
So fascinating and well written - thanks!
We are indeed so complex!
I know I was what would be described as a goody-twoshoes at the beginning of my teen years. And I hadn’t been instilled with much ability for independent thinking.
I always seemed to catch the attention of “bad girls” and get dragged into sex, drugs and rock’n roll. Anyone would have been shocked to see me at 14, 15, 16 getting involved in partying - just about always with men between the ages of 18 and 50.
It was an experience I certainly wouldn’t want for my daughter. At the time though - in my head, I was of age, and I was certainly putting myself into the proximity of these individuals. For whatever reason, I never thought of myself as a victim and I just HAD these bizarre experiences with all these people as if it was the agenda of the times. This was in the late 70’s and early 80’s.
It’s really a bit of a mind warp to put those experiences into the context of something like the MeToo movement.
It’s just what we did - the seeking of crazy adventures with questionable people and substances.
It didn’t have the element of purposeful grooming or wealth or celebrity, but we teens were certainly not being viewed as off-limits by any of these men and they just took our presence as face value consent or something 😳
In any case, as a quite introverted, studious, thoughtful person, it seems ludicrous now to know I went through all that. But I have always chalked it up to a somewhat karmic experience of that era of time that I lived through.
Also, there’s no one to sue for 7 million dollars for taking advantage of me then 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your comment. As a wild teenager of the 80s I was hit on by a famous female sitcom star slipping me the key to her suite. I was locked in a bathroom in San Francisco by Tupac Shakur exposing himself wanting a blow job. Smoked hash with the Go-Go’s. Wild times. I’m not playing victim or thinking gosh, I should have sued. It was what it was. Sign of the times.
I feel like I should amend my brief story by saying while I declined the first two scenarios I mentioned (one being frightening but flattering at the same time - twisted, I know) I got myself tangled into many situations as a young woman. At 16, 17 I knew better and was capable of making a choice. Had money been a factor, I may have made very poor choices out of necessity. I struggle with the taken advantage part and the age of some of these girls. I don’t think it’s black or white and I’m conflicted.
Absolutely. While part of me romanticizes the experiences I had, if I had ever caught one of those individuals being so casual with my teenage daughter, they wouldn’t have known what hit them.
Even though in many ways, I wouldn’t be who I am now without having lived that. You can’t really isolate individuals from the era in which they’ve grown up. Hence, the prosecuting of certain crimes is really in a gray area. Tough moral dilemmas.
Haha - sounds like you DID have the celebrity version!
Yes you’ve kind of nailed my experience too. At the time I thought of myself as tough and precocious and I didn’t see the adult men as users or abusers. I came face to face with one last week for the first time in 15 years and it brought up a lot of feelings. I do feel like he robbed me.
Yes, I hear you! There was one man in particular - 40 years old to my 15 years 😳 - who I think took particular advantage of me for an extended time. I would have some incredibly choice words for him now.
It’s so hard when your home life pushes you out too soon 😒
This has impacted me in a very profound way. I need to process. Thank you
Great post. It’s great to read her perspective and very odd she didn’t want to perpetuate the victim narrative, but to take responsibility for a choice she made. Indeed humans are much more complex than simply good or evil.
I’m feeling I need to process as well. Interesting that as a victim she still feels loyal (in my opinion)which makes me think how deeply she was manipulated. And what if all the glamour and famous people was taken away during that time, would she still feel the same way? Would she be giving him massages? I doubt GM would leave society and live in the woods if she were set free.
It definitely sounds like a witches spell these girls were under.
I agree with you. I was actually thinking the same, how deep was the manipulation? How much trauma has her mind just blocked out? They "eased" her into doing things she didn't want to do or hadn't yet done, i.e. she was a virgin and was slowly manipulated into losing her virginity to JE. I understand forgiving your abuser (for your own sake, not theirs), but there are still consequences, right? (Also, not saying she has forgiven them)
Regarding her living in the woods - she might have been referencing her house. She was arrested, I believe, at her house, which is deep in the woods. It's very secluded and completely surrounded by woods, if I remember correctly.
Thanks for the woods clarification. I didn’t know that info. I agree with everything you said as well.
What in particular do you perceive to be loyalty? I don’t see it?
Based on her not speaking badly about GM . Again in my opinion she only said how they manipulated her. Which seems to be an amazing quality GM has on people. Almost like they don’t even know it’s happening to them. GM is a Very fascinating person. And I did say I am still processing all this.
That’s kinda the point of the topic of not everything is black and white. An individual can still like a part of a person even though another part is stirring up some negative feeling within themselves. It’s not all this or that. It’s this and that, or even better, this is that.
I think she genuinely cared about G - perhaps J to a lesser degree. "Good trumps evil" comes into play.
I’m 52 years old. Went through some terrible abuse from 72-84, pretty bad stuff (anything you can think of, it happened). My Mother turned the other cheek, in all of it. Oldest brother drug overdose, next brother told her she’s dead to him years ago, twin brother, well, I’m convinced he’s got total and complete amnesia, or victims amnesia, at a clinical level. Me, I’m her now P.O.A. for everything, by choice, as she’s at end stage Alzheimer’s disease and congestive heart failure.
So all this (probably TMI…. whatever), to say, yea…. Human’s have so many ways of processing trauma, and be able to move forward. I love my Mother even though she’s liable to so much….that I’ll never really will know how much she knew (like GH and JE) or actually orchestrated herself? I really believe good and evil exist at the same time, in all of us. There’s certainly no reasons to try and take 15 min of celebrity. Your anonymous writer is so eloquent in explaining her experience.
Thank you for making me want to pay attention to these issues of late, with an no “news” really happening anymore, and most regular reporters not even giving the real story. Your humor and intelligence just shines in your writings!
Okay, starting to feel like that awkward freshman at her first party that started just TALKING, and can’t stop! Either that, or that last edible I ate was WAY more THC than the package said!!!🥴
I get it. I'm 58 and during the same basic time periods was phyically and sexually molested by my step father until my mom divored him - due to him cheating on her another woman - not to protect me. I have had a a confusing relationship with my mother which worsened when I found out at 19 I was illigitimate - that I had a dad who could have helped me escape from the hell but . . . My mom died Feb 28, 2020 from cancer. I live in OC and flew to Washington to see my mom when she was near the end because it was the right thing to do. I somehow thought I would not be affected; that I'd actually be relieved when she died. I was so wrong. I. Was. Gutted. Perhaps it was because I never knew the woman other people did. I don't know. I hope you have found peace with your mom and am sorry for your pain. I had to make peace with my past - it appears that's what this woman has also done - The pain molds us but we decide if we're molded into a flower or a blob. I, like this woman, chose flower.
Her perspective, so even and balanced, "indifferent" as she says, really humanizes the larger story here - not only for herself but for everyone involved. Thank you for sharing this, Jessica!
This is a great article but why doesn’t anybody mention what tbey really did?? Children!?! And trafficking them to all the elites. They always concentrate on two or three late teenagers giving massages. Seems like we are missing a HUGE part of the whole story.
I have been thinking the same!!
Exactly 💯!
Roger, would you be interested in doing an interview on some of these prescient topics?
PS watch this. one of the best sound minded interviews revealing much of what all people in our world need to know. just ignore the brief commercials the interviewer has to abide by. They are easy to skip with the scroll bar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-d3jFIGxdQ
But to tell someone else who was abused in that way and her abuse happened when she was still a child, that her feelings aren’t accurate is not accurate. This is her perspective at what is considered to have happened at an adult age and she still inserts that is was abuse. She’s telling her story from a completely different pint of view and with not the same details as she obviously had no clue what happened to that other girl.
This! Exactly!! To discredit the other girl, after she even stated she had no idea she was being abused as well, is so odd to me! Why would she try to downplay another's experience? Because the other girl was younger? Was she actually maybe slightly jealous of her? (Which can happen, the jealousy. Psychological trauma of wanting either be the only one or even the "favorite" of the abuser)
Her perspective feels to me that she is still in recovery perhaps amd hasn't gone down the full road to find her rage at about what she experienced. The calm demeanor she espouses just suggests that she hasn't fully listened to herself and howbshe fully feels about it. Him grooming her for all those years so slowly "winning" her so to speak and deflecting his (je) rage to be fulfilled by his shills n henchmen, well, there are just so many red flags here in her storyline about how utterly abusive the whole situation was yet she seems almost number to it still which is a clear sing of her pain not being felt and processed. Jist my opinion here on what I read above. Only she really knows but we all have our own instincts and experience we can perceive through our own lense as well as sense the other. Just my thoughts. Perhapsbthere is more to her storybshebis telling and who she is that what the is revealing so far. Peoole have split personalities and dont even have memory of things they do and what they have allowed to have been done to them.
There's just something missing here for me when it comes down to the waybshes expressing herself and seemingly not accusing je of much and yet saying the other girls lived the life of parties with models as she said and therefore it couldn't have been that bad? Did I read her article correctly? Maybe i need to read it again and im all wrong.
For me, it comes down to just how indoctrinated we all are to being abused. How familiar it is to allow people to seduce us into a state of compliance to do whatever is their bidding. We are all largely trained to be passive and to be acquiescent to so-called authentic especially as women, girls, females. It's in every show, commercial, movie, talk show, religion and more. Even the out spoken sheroes often are riddled with mixed messages to stay silent or else. If you speak up and tell the truth, feel yourbown truth, listen to your instincts, well, you better watch out is their message. We are working hard to changing that but the oppressor/mirdirirz status quo still have the main hold on the leash. They may let the leash out tobkae it seem like we free buh we still ain't free.
Our minds have long been co-opted. We don't even own our own minds, I'm telling you. We don't. We think we do, but we don't. We are psychically manipulated at every turn from the get go. Our images, our feelings and the words we repeat in our minds were planted before we were born by our mother's programming and all the obvious and the subliminal messages we picked up since we are conceived.
We are so brainwashed, we don't even realize we are brainwashed.
We think we like some teevee show because, well, we like it. When the reality is, we've been trained to like it and this is with jist about everything in our lives.
More to come on this topic in detail...
It’s refreshing to read a perspective free from the influence of lawyers or a desire for fame. What JE and GM did was not acceptable by any means, this provides an unedited understanding of both the good and the horrendous.
Deleted my Instagram app for a bit and subscribed to your page, best decision I’ve made in some time. 😂
I agree that it was a role she only played as part of her own relationship with Jeffery. Without him , she would not have been continuing such activities. I think she wanted his love / companionship - the illusion or delusion? of being a couple, so badly that she would do whatever it took to stay in his orbit and at his side as lady of the house/s. And what it took to satiate him ,to please him, was procuring taboo underage beautiful girls to serve him. She may have been waist deep before she realized what she was doing.
Having lived in Manchester by the Sea once upon a time , I am really looking forward to your part 2 of Ghislaine on the run -- unless you have already posted & I missed it ?
No I haven’t. But believe me I haven’t forgotten!
10 years max for ghislaine! I’m gonna google how much jail time Heidi fliess got! Doubt she was doing background checks on her girls
I believe she got 20.
Your reporting is amazing. Thank you!!
Great piece. What I gained from this perspective is that darkness and light can coexist at the same time under these circumstances.