Bring on traditional gender roles. I personally love when my husband mows the lawn and grills and opens doors for me. I sure as hell don’t want to mow the lawn. 😂 That doesn’t make me any less independent or more dependent on a man. It just means we respect and love each other enough to help one another. Call me old fashioned but I love it.
This made me tear up. I grew up in progressive spaces, with divorced parents, and always wanted a traditional life. When my husband and I found each other, much older than I'd hoped, it just felt so special. At the beginning, I thought he wasn't going to like me because I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom and have four kids. Turns out, I was exactly what he was looking for.
While my husband DOES sing Pink Pony Club with me and our daughter, he also fixes our off grid water system he built, butchers the invasive pigs who cruise through our land, cooks incredible dinners and so much more while I grow and tend to our children and the home in more traditional ways. It’s a beautiful balance. Love this piece.
I’ve always loved Lana for being “different” than the usual cookie cutter female singers out there…this piece just makes me love her even more for doing her own thing and being okay with her femininity… I love, love, love masculine men so this hits home for me! ❤️
I applaud the idea that you have to live in an environment different from how you grew up, to learn and grow and create. The idea that all people can teach us something shows curiosity. And being curious is where life is defined.
Let’s allow men to be men again. We’ve taken men from being protectors and providers to being hapless and helpless. Women don’t need them has been war cry for decades.
Thank you for sharing your essay—I absolutely loved it. You bring up such an interesting point about how the image of men has changed over time. I do miss that raw, natural masculinity too, like the unapologetic manly smell of a guy who doesn't wear deodorant (I think Mathew Mcconoughy is the last) the kind of presence that used to be celebrated. Now it feels like we've traded that for something more sanitized, with men shaving everything, exploring different sexual identities, over-vaccinated, and too sensitive. It’s strange how the essence of being a man has become something negative.
I keep wondering if this is what feminism was supposed to lead to—have we, as women, become so focused on equality that we’ve somehow desexualized or de-gendered men? Have we convinced ourselves that we’re not strong enough to allow men to fully be men anymore?
In my eleven years of marriage, I have learned that if I show gratitude and respect to my husband for however he contributes — be it gross chores I don’t want to do, tough jobs I can’t do or every day simple household and parenting jobs that I ask him to help with because I simply need help — he THRIVES. He loves feeling useful when he is shown gratitude and respect. This is in man’s nature and it’s AWESOME when I and my children are made to feel like our man is happy because he’s serving us. True selfless masculinity is a gift. Thanks for putting this message out there for so many to see!
my partner and I have been redefining our roles as new parents the past almost 3 years and it has been so turbulent. I am only just know seeing the light that as independent as I always was and wanting to do everything, I actually need to allow him to do the typical masculine stuff while I do the traditional feminine stuff-that I actually want this to feel secure! As a SAHM I’m often overwhelmed and duh it’s because I’m still trying to be both roles. And have totally emasculated him in the process. This article and your comment came at such an aligned time and as a reminder to me to hold gratitude for this life I dreamt of, and to soften and allow him to take care of us.
Aw I just love that what I said resonated. Yeah, I am an independent person myself but it’s such a lie that one person is capable of all that it takes to run a house and raise children. I would tell you and any woman right now in our position to lean in and let him be the man because I have been so moved in witnessing my husband’s strength to bear so much. You know, it’s kinda like you get the feeling that this is what is missing from society and culture. Men are so belittled and emasculated that we don’t openly see this side of manhood but it is the missing piece.
PS — hope I don’t come across as preachy. I just feel like I found a mountain range full of gold and there’s more than I will ever need for myself so I need to tell everyone to come get some for themselves. ☺️💕
this is all I thought when I read your comment! That it was the tried and true wisdom of someone who’s been through it longer than me and had some wisdom to offer. Thank you! 💞
YES! I knew I found my man when on our first date he never talked about himself. Not an egotist, how rare. He became my Champion, and I love it! Gotta love southerners…I get Lana’s choice. That is a MAN.
While Boss Babes force fed us hustle culture, Lana picked the pedals off flowers like he loves me he loves me not. She has made it ok for a wide swath of us girlies to get glam just to go to the coffee shop if we want to...romanticizing the mundane. Love her forever.
As a mom of 3 men I applaud your writing. The hardest thing has been for masculine mine to find a women that appreciate it. I am blessed to say my 3 have in California no less!! Trust me it isn’t easy but when you raise them right you pray they will find a woman that loves them as much as you do! Great essay!
Oh this hits. Too many women have fallen prey to the concept their lover / significant other should be their best friend. Their partner should be like a best friend in so many ways, but should never supplant their girlfriends. Each shares a complimentary role.
Being from the south and having transplanted in my late 20s to Northern California this piece is a breath of fresh air. I love it so much and strikes a cord for my generation (millennials). Love Lana even more now too!
Bring on traditional gender roles. I personally love when my husband mows the lawn and grills and opens doors for me. I sure as hell don’t want to mow the lawn. 😂 That doesn’t make me any less independent or more dependent on a man. It just means we respect and love each other enough to help one another. Call me old fashioned but I love it.
I’m so thrilled that masculinity, and how it compliments femininity, has made its way to my favorite Substack.
Yes, yes, yes. Bring back masculine men!!! Let WOMEN be the woman!!
This made me tear up. I grew up in progressive spaces, with divorced parents, and always wanted a traditional life. When my husband and I found each other, much older than I'd hoped, it just felt so special. At the beginning, I thought he wasn't going to like me because I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom and have four kids. Turns out, I was exactly what he was looking for.
Oh wow this is a gem of an essay - love it so much!!!!
While my husband DOES sing Pink Pony Club with me and our daughter, he also fixes our off grid water system he built, butchers the invasive pigs who cruise through our land, cooks incredible dinners and so much more while I grow and tend to our children and the home in more traditional ways. It’s a beautiful balance. Love this piece.
I’ve always loved Lana for being “different” than the usual cookie cutter female singers out there…this piece just makes me love her even more for doing her own thing and being okay with her femininity… I love, love, love masculine men so this hits home for me! ❤️
Being from the South, I love this!!! It is so wonderful for Lana to see the difference!
I applaud the idea that you have to live in an environment different from how you grew up, to learn and grow and create. The idea that all people can teach us something shows curiosity. And being curious is where life is defined.
Let’s allow men to be men again. We’ve taken men from being protectors and providers to being hapless and helpless. Women don’t need them has been war cry for decades.
This fish needs a good strong bicycle!
Thank you for sharing your essay—I absolutely loved it. You bring up such an interesting point about how the image of men has changed over time. I do miss that raw, natural masculinity too, like the unapologetic manly smell of a guy who doesn't wear deodorant (I think Mathew Mcconoughy is the last) the kind of presence that used to be celebrated. Now it feels like we've traded that for something more sanitized, with men shaving everything, exploring different sexual identities, over-vaccinated, and too sensitive. It’s strange how the essence of being a man has become something negative.
I keep wondering if this is what feminism was supposed to lead to—have we, as women, become so focused on equality that we’ve somehow desexualized or de-gendered men? Have we convinced ourselves that we’re not strong enough to allow men to fully be men anymore?
In my eleven years of marriage, I have learned that if I show gratitude and respect to my husband for however he contributes — be it gross chores I don’t want to do, tough jobs I can’t do or every day simple household and parenting jobs that I ask him to help with because I simply need help — he THRIVES. He loves feeling useful when he is shown gratitude and respect. This is in man’s nature and it’s AWESOME when I and my children are made to feel like our man is happy because he’s serving us. True selfless masculinity is a gift. Thanks for putting this message out there for so many to see!
my partner and I have been redefining our roles as new parents the past almost 3 years and it has been so turbulent. I am only just know seeing the light that as independent as I always was and wanting to do everything, I actually need to allow him to do the typical masculine stuff while I do the traditional feminine stuff-that I actually want this to feel secure! As a SAHM I’m often overwhelmed and duh it’s because I’m still trying to be both roles. And have totally emasculated him in the process. This article and your comment came at such an aligned time and as a reminder to me to hold gratitude for this life I dreamt of, and to soften and allow him to take care of us.
oof i feel this, thank you lacey for your writing
Aw I just love that what I said resonated. Yeah, I am an independent person myself but it’s such a lie that one person is capable of all that it takes to run a house and raise children. I would tell you and any woman right now in our position to lean in and let him be the man because I have been so moved in witnessing my husband’s strength to bear so much. You know, it’s kinda like you get the feeling that this is what is missing from society and culture. Men are so belittled and emasculated that we don’t openly see this side of manhood but it is the missing piece.
PS — hope I don’t come across as preachy. I just feel like I found a mountain range full of gold and there’s more than I will ever need for myself so I need to tell everyone to come get some for themselves. ☺️💕
this is all I thought when I read your comment! That it was the tried and true wisdom of someone who’s been through it longer than me and had some wisdom to offer. Thank you! 💞
This brought tears to my eyes...Please continue appreciating your man and show our clueless sisters how it is done!
🫶🏻🫶🏻
YES! I knew I found my man when on our first date he never talked about himself. Not an egotist, how rare. He became my Champion, and I love it! Gotta love southerners…I get Lana’s choice. That is a MAN.
While Boss Babes force fed us hustle culture, Lana picked the pedals off flowers like he loves me he loves me not. She has made it ok for a wide swath of us girlies to get glam just to go to the coffee shop if we want to...romanticizing the mundane. Love her forever.
Favorite songs of hers in order for the curious:
Ride
Ultraviolence
West Coast
Norman F*cking Rockwell
A+W
Blue Jeans
Radio
Diet Mountain Dew
Season of the Witch (cover)
Cinnamon Girl
Hope is a Dangerous thing for a Girl Like Me
Bartender
Say Yes to Heaven
Love
Young and Beautiful
Video Games
Summertime Sadness
Any of these good running songs? The first two are slow
my best friend runs marathons to her songs.. says it makes her feel like she is floating and not running. you'll get into it <3
Summertime sadness remix is but no she is more for when you are in your feelings. Great break up triage. ;)
As a mom of 3 men I applaud your writing. The hardest thing has been for masculine mine to find a women that appreciate it. I am blessed to say my 3 have in California no less!! Trust me it isn’t easy but when you raise them right you pray they will find a woman that loves them as much as you do! Great essay!
Oh this hits. Too many women have fallen prey to the concept their lover / significant other should be their best friend. Their partner should be like a best friend in so many ways, but should never supplant their girlfriends. Each shares a complimentary role.
Being from the south and having transplanted in my late 20s to Northern California this piece is a breath of fresh air. I love it so much and strikes a cord for my generation (millennials). Love Lana even more now too!
Bless you. Well written and a much needed commentary for today.